Boudreaux and Thibodeaux are walking down a street in Houston when and they see a sign on a store that reads, 'Suits $5.00 each, shirts $2.00 each, trousers $2.50 per pair.' Boudreaux says to his pal, 'Look here! We could buy a whole gob of these, take 'em back to Breaux Bridge, sell 'em to our friends, and make a fortune. Thibodeaux nodded, Yeah, thats right! Now when we go in there you be quiet, okay? Just let me do the talkin' 'cause if they hear your accent, they might think we're ignorant, and try to cheat us. Now, I'll talk in a slow Texas drawl so's they don't know.' They go in and Boudreaux says with his best fake Texas accent, 'I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.00 each, 100 of them there shirts at $2.00 each, and 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.50 each. I'll back up my pickup and ....' The owner of the shop interrupts, 'Ya'll are from Louisiana, ain't you?' Well...yeah,' says a surprised Boudreaux. 'How come you know dat!' 'Because this is a dry-cleaners.' Cajun honeymoon Boudreaux, out in his pasture in south Louisiana, takes a lightning-quick kick from a cow right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said 'How bad is it Doc? . . . I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my finance, Bertha, is still a virgin - in every vay.' The doctor told him, 'I'll have to put your willy in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week.' He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together . . ... Quite an impressive work of art and engineering. Boudreaux mentions none of this to Bertha, marries her, and they go on their honeymoon to Ville Platte. That night in the motel room, Bertha slowly open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts. She said, 'You're da first, nobody has EVER seen deez.' Boudreaux immediately drops his pants and replies, 'Look at dis, Bertha....... ..... .still in DA CRATE!' Boudreaux tells Thibodeaux one day that he has decided to go to college, so he can get a "land job" He tells Thibadeaux he has a meeting with the Dean of the College in Raceland on Monday. "You tell me how dat goes" says Thibodeaux Monday morning comes around, and Boudreaux is meeting with the Dean. "Boudreaux, I have signed you up for three classes for your first semester....Math, English and...Logic" Boudreaux says " I know what English and Math are, but what is dat Logic" "Let me Explain to You" says the Dean "Do You own a weed-eater" asks the Dean "I sure does" says Boudreaux "Well, then Logicaly, I conclude You have a Yard" says the Dean "Dats true.. I do have me a yard" "And since you have a Yard, I Logicaly assume you have a house" says the Dean "I sure do" says Boudreaux "Logically, since you have a house, I conclude you probably have a wife" "Yeah, I got me a wife...Jolie" Boudreaux says "And since I know you have a wife, I logically assume you are a Heterosexual man" "Well dats for sure" says Boureaux "Well Boudreaux, thats Logic in a nutshell....what do you think?" "Dats just Amazing!!!...You figured all that stuff out by jus knowin I had me a weed-eater!" So....Boudreaux signed up for all three classes. The next day Boudreaux runs in to Thibodeaux at da Bar-room" "So how did it go over at da college Boudreaux?" "Man, it was good...I signed up to take me three classes....Math, English and Logic" says Boudreaux "Logic???? whats dat" "Its simple, let me explain it to you............Do you have a weed-eater Thibodeaux" says Boudreaux "No...You know I aint got one" "Well, then I logically conclude you is a Homo!" Boudreaux and Clarence Boudreaux live across de bayou from Clarence, who he don like at all. Dey all de time yell across de bayou at each ot her. Boudreaux would yell to Clarence, "If I had a way to cross dis bayou, I'd come over dere an beat you up good, yeah!" Dis went on for years. Finally de state done built a bridge across dat bayou right by dere houses; and Boudreaux's wife, Marie, say, "Now is you chance, Boudreaux. Why don you go over der an beat up dat Clarence like you say?" Boudreaux say, "OK," and start across de bridge, but he see a sign on de bridge an he stop to read it and den he go back home. Marie say, "Why you back so soon?" And Boudreaux say, "Marie, I dun change my mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence. You know Marie, dey got a sign on dat dere bridge dat say, 'Clarence 13 ft. 6 in.' You know, he don look near dat big when I yell at him across de bayou."