- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
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This is a capitalism-propaganda parable inspired by My Fellow Americans and Primary Colors, and given its political message, I didn't feel comfy posting it in the Writing section of USMB.
But please tell me what you think!
Cheers,
====
"In a parallel universe, Donald Trump, president of the USA, was just a baby, although 'Baby Trump' was extremely intelligent. One might say that the adult Trump in our universe, while somewhat candidly unwise, Baby Trump in this parallel universe was a very shrewd politician/president. Baby Trump knew that capitalism even in that parallel universe would function through some kind of 'scapegoat function' (by which profiteers and pirates feel 'justified' the sins and foolishness of the homeless and unemployed)."
"The First Lady of that parallel universe was a woman named Sissy Trump, maiden name Darling. Sissy Darling Trump was an ideal 'mate' for President Baby Trump. Baby Trump was a very sensual politician, and the First Lady (Sissy Trump) satisfied his every need. It was a very 'idealized' romance. Shrewd Baby Trump decided to use First Lady photos on Face-Smash (their version of Facebook!) to advertise/promote the notion that Presidents should be comforted by lifestyle-amenities in the White House. However, critics of President Baby Trump simply felt that the President was too 'pampered'."
"Meanwhile, Hollywood in that parallel universe, known as Yollywood (also located in a place called California but spelled 'Kalifornia') was making a film about a ruthless Old West cattle-baron named Patrick Hewitt who killed his enemies with a terrible hammer, knocking them unconscious first with a sedative before smashing their skulls. Hewitt was very wealthy and his character in the film was based on a real-life Old West ruthless baron (in that parallel universe) named Thomas Hewitt. In that Yollywood (USA) film, Pat Hewitt was portrayed by the super-celebrity Leo DiCaprio (same name as the Leonardo DiCaprio in our universe!). This film was called Django Unhitched, and it prompted President Baby Trump to tweet, 'I worry that if Pat Hewitt was like Boss Tweed and live in our era, he might scapegoat me or assassinate me just to exploit the loopholes of capitalism!'. Was Baby Trump right?"
"One day President Baby Trump pulled out his newspaper and read the headline that the First Lady, his wife, Sissy Darling Trump, was arrested while trying to pose as an urban vigilante named 'Batwoman.' Sissy/Batwoman was trying to take down a D.C. crime-syndicate known as Black Mask which wielded hammers to damage parked cop-cars as a 'symbolic gesture' to subvert American patriotism. Sissy/Batwoman failed to take down Black Mask, but the headlines got a lot of attention, and Baby Trump tweeted, 'Black Mask obviously looks like a gang of savages'. Maybe journalism was a 'pure tool' that could be used to fight crime in any kind of capitalism-based system."
"Baby Trump lived in a Green Emerald Mini-City known as Oz with his wife Sissy Trump. Soon, the Washington Post called President Baby Trump the 'Boss Baby' (since he had done much to highlight the youthful-imagination of capitalism-culture). However, a sociopath and former minion of Black Mask decided to try to assassinate Baby Trump and rape or kidnap the First Lady Sissy Trump. This minion, Thomas Sawyer, wanted to expose the White House, the central mansion in Oz, as a place unfortified because of the natural flaws of capitalism. Sawyer wanted Baby Trump to be 'magically' turned into the ultimate 'capitalism scapegoat'."
"Sawyer failed in his terrorist-scheme and was arrested before he got near Baby Trump or the First Lady. Sawyer was taken to Arkham Asylum, D.C.'s best center for the incarceration/treatment of the criminally-insane. In Arkham, Sawyer began drawing a series of anti-consumerism stick-figure doodles of a fictional impish-terrorist named Evil Elf. Sawyer told reporters and doctors that Evil Elf would one day ideologically bring down the tyranny of capitalism and the 'haunting memory' of Baby Trump once and for all."
TRUMP: Maybe in a parallel universe, everyone loves capitalism!
CARTER: I doubt there was a 9/11 in a parallel universe, Mr. President.
TRUMP: The First Lady would agree that capitalism needs more cheerleaders.
CARTER: Maybe capitalism produces many 'scapegoats.'
TRUMP: It's challenging coordinating/balancing capitalism with democracy.
CARTER: Yes, capitalism is competitive, while democracy is teamwork-oriented!
TRUMP: I think the lottery-system is a nice 'compromise' for Americans.
CARTER: Yes, it promotes both competitiveness and society spirit.
TRUMP: There are more female professors at Yale now than ever.
CARTER: Really?
TRUMP: I wonder if the First Lady wishes she was a Yale teacher.
CARTER: Why not? After all, Yale represents 'capitalism idealism.'
TRUMP: Well, I doubt the Ivy League is unified in its Israel-Palestine stance.
CARTER: It's difficult coordinating American capitalism with Muslim-petroleum.
TRUMP: Isn't that what the Gulf War was all about?
CARTER: It sure was!
TRUMP: To diminish the notion that capitalism breeds scapegoats, we need patriots!
CARTER: I suggest we hype sports-marketing culture films like Jerry Maguire.
TRUMP: Isn't Jerry Maguire (Tom Cruise) an achievement in 'consumerism propaganda'?
====
But please tell me what you think!
Cheers,
====
"In a parallel universe, Donald Trump, president of the USA, was just a baby, although 'Baby Trump' was extremely intelligent. One might say that the adult Trump in our universe, while somewhat candidly unwise, Baby Trump in this parallel universe was a very shrewd politician/president. Baby Trump knew that capitalism even in that parallel universe would function through some kind of 'scapegoat function' (by which profiteers and pirates feel 'justified' the sins and foolishness of the homeless and unemployed)."
"The First Lady of that parallel universe was a woman named Sissy Trump, maiden name Darling. Sissy Darling Trump was an ideal 'mate' for President Baby Trump. Baby Trump was a very sensual politician, and the First Lady (Sissy Trump) satisfied his every need. It was a very 'idealized' romance. Shrewd Baby Trump decided to use First Lady photos on Face-Smash (their version of Facebook!) to advertise/promote the notion that Presidents should be comforted by lifestyle-amenities in the White House. However, critics of President Baby Trump simply felt that the President was too 'pampered'."
"Meanwhile, Hollywood in that parallel universe, known as Yollywood (also located in a place called California but spelled 'Kalifornia') was making a film about a ruthless Old West cattle-baron named Patrick Hewitt who killed his enemies with a terrible hammer, knocking them unconscious first with a sedative before smashing their skulls. Hewitt was very wealthy and his character in the film was based on a real-life Old West ruthless baron (in that parallel universe) named Thomas Hewitt. In that Yollywood (USA) film, Pat Hewitt was portrayed by the super-celebrity Leo DiCaprio (same name as the Leonardo DiCaprio in our universe!). This film was called Django Unhitched, and it prompted President Baby Trump to tweet, 'I worry that if Pat Hewitt was like Boss Tweed and live in our era, he might scapegoat me or assassinate me just to exploit the loopholes of capitalism!'. Was Baby Trump right?"
"One day President Baby Trump pulled out his newspaper and read the headline that the First Lady, his wife, Sissy Darling Trump, was arrested while trying to pose as an urban vigilante named 'Batwoman.' Sissy/Batwoman was trying to take down a D.C. crime-syndicate known as Black Mask which wielded hammers to damage parked cop-cars as a 'symbolic gesture' to subvert American patriotism. Sissy/Batwoman failed to take down Black Mask, but the headlines got a lot of attention, and Baby Trump tweeted, 'Black Mask obviously looks like a gang of savages'. Maybe journalism was a 'pure tool' that could be used to fight crime in any kind of capitalism-based system."
"Baby Trump lived in a Green Emerald Mini-City known as Oz with his wife Sissy Trump. Soon, the Washington Post called President Baby Trump the 'Boss Baby' (since he had done much to highlight the youthful-imagination of capitalism-culture). However, a sociopath and former minion of Black Mask decided to try to assassinate Baby Trump and rape or kidnap the First Lady Sissy Trump. This minion, Thomas Sawyer, wanted to expose the White House, the central mansion in Oz, as a place unfortified because of the natural flaws of capitalism. Sawyer wanted Baby Trump to be 'magically' turned into the ultimate 'capitalism scapegoat'."
"Sawyer failed in his terrorist-scheme and was arrested before he got near Baby Trump or the First Lady. Sawyer was taken to Arkham Asylum, D.C.'s best center for the incarceration/treatment of the criminally-insane. In Arkham, Sawyer began drawing a series of anti-consumerism stick-figure doodles of a fictional impish-terrorist named Evil Elf. Sawyer told reporters and doctors that Evil Elf would one day ideologically bring down the tyranny of capitalism and the 'haunting memory' of Baby Trump once and for all."
TRUMP: Maybe in a parallel universe, everyone loves capitalism!
CARTER: I doubt there was a 9/11 in a parallel universe, Mr. President.
TRUMP: The First Lady would agree that capitalism needs more cheerleaders.
CARTER: Maybe capitalism produces many 'scapegoats.'
TRUMP: It's challenging coordinating/balancing capitalism with democracy.
CARTER: Yes, capitalism is competitive, while democracy is teamwork-oriented!
TRUMP: I think the lottery-system is a nice 'compromise' for Americans.
CARTER: Yes, it promotes both competitiveness and society spirit.
TRUMP: There are more female professors at Yale now than ever.
CARTER: Really?
TRUMP: I wonder if the First Lady wishes she was a Yale teacher.
CARTER: Why not? After all, Yale represents 'capitalism idealism.'
TRUMP: Well, I doubt the Ivy League is unified in its Israel-Palestine stance.
CARTER: It's difficult coordinating American capitalism with Muslim-petroleum.
TRUMP: Isn't that what the Gulf War was all about?
CARTER: It sure was!
TRUMP: To diminish the notion that capitalism breeds scapegoats, we need patriots!
CARTER: I suggest we hype sports-marketing culture films like Jerry Maguire.
TRUMP: Isn't Jerry Maguire (Tom Cruise) an achievement in 'consumerism propaganda'?
====
