Black Friday Parody: "Joy To the World, Black Friday's come"

easyt65

Diamond Member
Aug 4, 2015
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After reading all the headlines and stories about the carnage and chaos of today's Black Friday event across the country, I could not help but quickly jot down a 'festive' holiday parody:


Joy to the world! Black Friday’s come
Let Crime And Chaos Reign
Let every heart turn dark and cold and hard


And selfish greed abounds
And selfish greed abounds
And selfish, selfish, greed abounds


Slapping, Snatching, Fighting
Stealing, Punching, Biting
Gotta have that toy
For my little boy

Do what you have to do
Do what you have to do
Do what, do what you have to do


A man was killed in a stampede
He died beneath your two feet
But You’re on a roll
Tho You sold your soul

Screw the world around
In you the greed abounds
In you, in you, the greed abounds



Happy (post) Thanksgiving and holiday, everyone. Hope you're not in that mess, but if you are - be safe. God bless.
 
Gotta share.

Wal Mart Houdini:
I was in Wal Mart in BIG town (small city) several Christmases ago, standing at the back of the store waiting for a worker to bring our the REST of my 'Lay-Away's. I had a shopping cart filled with other gifts for Christmas. The worker came up, asked me a question about the item I was waiting on - took maybe 4 - 5 seconds to answer. I turned back around - just that quick - and my cart and all the gifts were GONE.

I quickly grabbed an employee, explained what had just happened, and asked her to make an announcement that they were LOCKING THE DOORS AND NO ONE WAS GETTING OUT WITH ANYTHING WITHOUT RECEIPTS. She told me they couldn't really do that (due to manning shortage), and I told her that was ok, just to make the announcement anyway. As she did I tore through the store looking for the cart. It took me about 5 minutes....whoever heard the announcement, not having the receipts, had ditched the cart in the middle of a circular clothes rack and high-tailed it.

Crisis diverted, thank goodness...but 'C'MON MAN!


Shopping Cart 'Thumper' Switcheroo
The day before Thanksgiving I was in a store doing a last-minute grocery grab. I had picked a 'good' shopping cart - it wasn't a 'thumper', wasn't 'out of alignment, and was nice and quiet. My first stop was all the way in the back at the dairy isle. Being unable to find what I was looking for, I turned and asked a young woman re-stocking the eggs if she knew where I could find what I needed. She replied, 'aisle 11'. I thanked her, turned around, and...

Just that quickly, while my back was turned, someone stole my empty shopping cart. It wasn't that big of a deal - this time it was empty, but C'MON MAN!

I still needed a cart, and I have to admit I was wondering if I could spot the person. Though it may not sound important, EVERYONE had their own shopping cart and did not let it stray. There wasn't anyone without one, and there were no shopping carts to be found...so I started to walk back to the front to get another one.

I didn't make it to the front....I did not find MY shopping cart (as they all looked the same anyway), but I am 99% sure I found the shopping cart of the person who stole mine. At the end of the dairy section aisle, just right around the corner, sat a shopping cart... like an island in the middle of the ocean. Needing one, I decided to take this one, after making sure with the people around that it wasn't theirs.

Yeah, when I started to push this thing it pulled to the right and thumped like the Little Drummer Boy. I actually had to laugh...then proceeded to push my ditch-seeking, loudly-thumping cart around to get what few things I needed.

'Tis the season... :p
 
BLM, and the inner-city mentality it represents, and its Democrat supporters should realize even with the fog between their ears that reduced spending in their communities will negatively affect them first, if not only.
 
Gotta share.

Wal Mart Houdini:
I was in Wal Mart in BIG town (small city) several Christmases ago, standing at the back of the store waiting for a worker to bring our the REST of my 'Lay-Away's. I had a shopping cart filled with other gifts for Christmas. The worker came up, asked me a question about the item I was waiting on - took maybe 4 - 5 seconds to answer. I turned back around - just that quick - and my cart and all the gifts were GONE.

I quickly grabbed an employee, explained what had just happened, and asked her to make an announcement that they were LOCKING THE DOORS AND NO ONE WAS GETTING OUT WITH ANYTHING WITHOUT RECEIPTS. She told me they couldn't really do that (due to manning shortage), and I told her that was ok, just to make the announcement anyway. As she did I tore through the store looking for the cart. It took me about 5 minutes....whoever heard the announcement, not having the receipts, had ditched the cart in the middle of a circular clothes rack and high-tailed it.

Crisis diverted, thank goodness...but 'C'MON MAN!


Shopping Cart 'Thumper' Switcheroo
The day before Thanksgiving I was in a store doing a last-minute grocery grab. I had picked a 'good' shopping cart - it wasn't a 'thumper', wasn't 'out of alignment, and was nice and quiet. My first stop was all the way in the back at the dairy isle. Being unable to find what I was looking for, I turned and asked a young woman re-stocking the eggs if she knew where I could find what I needed. She replied, 'aisle 11'. I thanked her, turned around, and...

Just that quickly, while my back was turned, someone stole my empty shopping cart. It wasn't that big of a deal - this time it was empty, but C'MON MAN!

I still needed a cart, and I have to admit I was wondering if I could spot the person. Though it may not sound important, EVERYONE had their own shopping cart and did not let it stray. There wasn't anyone without one, and there were no shopping carts to be found...so I started to walk back to the front to get another one.

I didn't make it to the front....I did not find MY shopping cart (as they all looked the same anyway), but I am 99% sure I found the shopping cart of the person who stole mine. At the end of the dairy section aisle, just right around the corner, sat a shopping cart... like an island in the middle of the ocean. Needing one, I decided to take this one, after making sure with the people around that it wasn't theirs.

Yeah, when I started to push this thing it pulled to the right and thumped like the Little Drummer Boy. I actually had to laugh...then proceeded to push my ditch-seeking, loudly-thumping cart around to get what few things I needed.

'Tis the season... :p

When I get one of those I push faster and harder.
 
I find the slogan BLACK FRIDAY offensive, irresponsible, and racist :) Where the hell is JJ and AS on this one!
 

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