Beliefs of Democrats

[William Joyce]

Are kinda funny...

> Subject: Fw: 22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by Soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders
how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts
of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain Parts
of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E.
Lee,and Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but
racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very
nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
Charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected,
and Manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You haveto believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the
United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

22. You have to believe that Ted Kennedy is not a pig or a murderer, nor does he look like he is drunk most of the time.

 

[Max Power]

18 Ways to be a good Republican

1.) You have to believe that the AIDS virus was created by a magical deity to punish mankind.

2.) You have to believe that the topic of sex is more dangerous to children than exposure to violence and murder via media.

3.) You have to believe democratic nuclear weapons are less of a threat to the world than communist nuclear weapons.

4.) You have to believe that the best art comes from corporate associations.

5.) You have to believe every American has the right to drive a 6 person 10 mpg Sport Van to work and back and that we need to widen all the roads, create more parking lots, and drill for more oil wherever possible, or invade other countries if needed.

6.) You have to believe that homosexuality is new to our society, and the the ideal TV 50's was the perfect era.

7.) You have to believe that preventing abortion of an inseminated egg is more important than poverty, war, peace, loss of innocent lives or hunger.

8.) You have to believe that dominating businesses like mcdonalds, coca cola, starbucks, walmart and microsoft showcase what quality businesses are all about, and that a government that promotes paranoia, war and censorship will create prosperity.

9.) You have to believe that money is more important than actually doing something good to earn it.

10.) You have to believe in the corrupt politicians that start wars as long as they are conservative.

11.) You have to believe that taxes and gas prices are too high, and that we should increase military spending as an investment in oil.

12.) You have to believe that women have no place in history or politics except perhaps as first lady to a great man.

13.) You have to believe that standardized tests can help an outdated education system that teaches no modern skills.

14.) You don't really know the distinction between socialism and communism, and fail to realize that much of Europe, Canada and some US policies are socialist.

15.) You have to believe conservatives exaggerating the truth to go to war belong in the White House.

16.) You have to believe the separation of church and state should be ignored by Christians when appropriate.

17.) You have to believe that illegal corporate Republican funding is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

18.) You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, left wing conspiracy.

 

[ThomasPaine]

propaganda.....as usual...

 

[musicman]

18 Ways to be a good Republican

1.) You have to believe that the AIDS virus was created by a magical deity to punish mankind.

The "magical deity" warned us that homosexuality is an abomination. Mankind punished itself.

2.) You have to believe that the topic of sex is more dangerous to children than exposure to violence and murder via media.

The liberal media suffers from a sick obsession with all three. Conservatives seek parental control - be it the screen or the classsroom. That's unreasonable?

3.) You have to believe democratic nuclear weapons are less of a threat to the world than communist nuclear weapons.

They are.

4.) You have to believe that the best art comes from corporate associations.

Well, corporate sponsors didn't bring us "Piss Christ". They get points just for that, as far as I'm concerned.

5.) You have to believe every American has the right to drive a 6 person 10 mpg Sport Van to work

They do.

and that we need to... drill for more oil wherever possible,

We do.

or invade other countries if needed.

Quite apart from the oil question, we do. We must defend ourselves, and our interests.

8.) You have to believe that... a government that promotes paranoia, war and censorship will create prosperity.

Governments don't create prosperity, Max. I know that liberals can't get their minds around that; your mistake, then, is perfectly understandable.

9.) You have to believe that money is more important than actually doing something good to earn it.

So, George Soros and Ted Kennedy have done GOOD things to earn their money? Right - they're the GOOD criminals - in the same sense that Robert Byrd is the GOOD Klan member.

10.) You have to believe in the corrupt politicians that start wars as long as they are conservative.

In George Bush, we finally have a president who accepts that we are AT WAR - have been for a long time.

11.) You have to believe that taxes and gas prices are too high,

They are.

and that we should increase military spending as an investment in oil.

How about as an investment in national defense? I know you miss the good old days of Clinton, but it seems we're paying the price for his essential gutlessness.

13.) You have to believe that standardized tests can help an outdated education system that teaches no modern skills.

I'd settle for literacy, and children who could do sums up to thirty without removing their shoes. That seems a bit too "judgemental", though; self-esteem is the important thing.

14.) You don't really know the distinction between socialism and communism, and fail to realize that much of Europe, Canada and some US policies are socialist.

For the fact that only "some" U.S. policies are socialist, you can thank conservatives.

15.) You have to believe conservatives exaggerating the truth to go to war belong in the White House.

Once again, we've been "at war" for a long time - this president has merely decided that we'd better actually participate; maybe even defend ourselves.

16.) You have to believe the separation of church and state should be ignored by Christians when appropriate.

"Separation of church and state" - as espoused by liberals - is a fantasy.

17.) You have to believe that illegal corporate Republican funding is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

Bill Clinton sold out American energy independence to the Indonesians for campaign funding. He crawled into bed with the Peoples' Republic of China, and whispered to them our most sensitive technological secrets in exchange for campaign funding. The damage this traitorous whore did to his country is incalculable. You've got more nerve than a daylight burglar - bringing up campaign funding. Tell it to George Soros.

I omitted items 6,7,12, and 18, as they were incomprehensible jibberish.

 

[Max Power]

ROFL.
You guys can dish it, but sure can't take it.

Musicman, I'm not going to read your post, as you're taking a JOKE far too seriously.

 

[musicman]

ROFL.
You guys can dish it, but sure can't take it.

Musicman, I'm not going to read your post, as you're taking a JOKE far too seriously.

Ah, yes - the familiar liberal gambit. When caught in a bare-assed lie, claim that you were kidding.

Good one, Max. I laughed and laughed.

 

[Max Power]

Ah, yes - the familiar liberal gambit. When caught in a bare-assed lie, claim that you were kidding.

Good one, Max. I laughed and laughed.

Hey, it's not my fault that you "conservatives" can dish it but can't take it.

 

[musicman]

Hey, it's not my fault that you "conservatives" can dish it but can't take it.

I'll bet WJ wasn't kidding, and I DAMN sure wasn't. Your idiotic response didn't fly. Laugh, clown - laugh.

 

[Nienna]

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

Amen to this!

 

[William Joyce]

Funny list, Max...

But there's only 18!!!

 

[LuvRPgrl]

18 Ways to be a good Republican

1.) You have to believe that the AIDS virus was created by a magical deity to punish mankind..

SOUNDS MORE LIKE POWERMAN

2.) You have to believe that the topic of sex is more dangerous to children than exposure to violence and murder via media..

No, ONLY that they glorify unmarried sex.

3.) You have to believe democratic nuclear weapons are less of a threat to the world than communist nuclear weapons...

They are

4.) You have to believe that the best art comes from corporate associations..

Really?

5.) You have to believe every American has the right to drive a 6 person 10 mpg Sport Van to work and back and that we need to widen all the roads, create more parking lots, and drill for more oil wherever possible, or invade other countries if needed.
..

well, they do.

6.) You have to believe that homosexuality is new to our society, and the the ideal TV 50's was the perfect era..

Really? I never heard that.

7.) You have to believe that preventing abortion of an inseminated egg is more important than poverty, war, peace, loss of innocent lives or hunger..

Reallly? I never heard that either.

8.) You have to believe that dominating businesses like mcdonalds, coca cola, starbucks, walmart and microsoft showcase what quality businesses are all about, and that a government that promotes paranoia, war and censorship will create prosperity..

Wrong, Repubs claim govt DOESNT create prosperity. You are mixed up.

9.) You have to believe that money is more important than actually doing something good to earn it..

Collecting welfare is earning it?

10.) You have to believe in the corrupt politicians that start wars as long as they are conservative..

Like George Washington?

11.) You have to believe that taxes and gas prices are too high, and that we should increase military spending as an investment in oil..

Anwar is military spending?

12.) You have to believe that women have no place in history or politics except perhaps as first lady to a great man..

Oh, Condalisa Rice anyone?

13.) You have to believe that standardized tests can help an outdated education system that teaches no modern skills..

hahhaha, we want school choice (a change) you libs want MORE MONEY< MORE MONEY into the same old failed system. You are still mixed up, and its so bad, it aint even humorous.

14.) You don't really know the distinction between socialism and communism, and fail to realize that much of Europe, Canada and some US policies are socialist..

Really? I thought it was R. Redford and Streisand and other libs who wined and dined Castro recently?

15.) You have to believe conservatives exaggerating the truth to go to war belong in the White House..

Like Kennedy?

16.) You have to believe the separation of church and state should be ignored by Christians when appropriate..

again you are confused, there is no seperation in the COTUS.

17.) You have to believe that illegal corporate Republican funding is somehow in the best interest to the United States..

Probably is.

18.) You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, left wing conspiracy.

No, part of a vast stupid wing conspiracy.

 

[insein]

MAn im a terible republican.

18 Ways to be a good Republican

1.) You have to believe that the AIDS virus was created by a magical deity to punish mankind.
Dang i dont believe that. I believe some people had sex with monkeys in Africa.

2.) You have to believe that the topic of sex is more dangerous to children than exposure to violence and murder via media.
No on this one too. I think they are equally dangerous to kids without parental guidance.

3.) You have to believe democratic nuclear weapons are less of a threat to the world than communist nuclear weapons.
Ha thats a trick question. They are the same thing

4.) You have to believe that the best art comes from corporate associations.
Guh? I thought art came from artists

5.) You have to believe every American has the right to drive a 6 person 10 mpg Sport Van to work and back and that we need to widen all the roads, create more parking lots, and drill for more oil wherever possible, or invade other countries if needed.
I don't agree with this one. They want to spend $60 at the pump everytime, thats their money. Also believe we need a better highway system and more available oil in our control. So drilling for oil negates the invading other countries cause then we wont need it.

6.) You have to believe that homosexuality is new to our society, and the the ideal TV 50's was the perfect era.
Nope dont believe that. You cant go by what you see on TV, because if you did that, you'd think 60% of America was gay.

7.) You have to believe that preventing abortion of an inseminated egg is more important than poverty, war, peace, loss of innocent lives or hunger.
Honestly i dont really care on any. People make their own decisions.

8.) You have to believe that dominating businesses like mcdonalds, coca cola, starbucks, walmart and microsoft showcase what quality businesses are all about, and that a government that promotes paranoia, war and censorship will create prosperity.
McDonalds, Starbucks, Walmart and Microsoft were all small businesses at one point. They worked their way up to be what they are. So we should spit on them for success instead of praising them. As for the government you propose, im against all of that. Thats why i vote against democrats. Where have you been?

9.) You have to believe that money is more important than actually doing something good to earn it.
No on this one too.

10.) You have to believe in the corrupt politicians that start wars as long as they are conservative.
No on this as well. I dont believe in any corrupt politicians. Except Teddy Kennedy. I truly believe he is as crazy as he appears.

11.) You have to believe that taxes and gas prices are too high, and that we should increase military spending as an investment in oil.
Well i dont know what your trying to say exactly, but taxes are too high and we should increase military spending. Investment in oil makes no sense unless you mean drilling for more in our own territory then yes i do agree with that. Got 1 so far.

12.) You have to believe that women have no place in history or politics except perhaps as first lady to a great man.
Don't believe that either. There have been many great women over the years. The problem is they were so busy cooking, cleaning and being good housewives that they didnt have time to take any credit. Not that they would any way. Theyd be too humble.

13.) You have to believe that standardized tests can help an outdated education system that teaches no modern skills.
Dont believe that one either. In fact i dont believe a Government school can teach modern skills. Too much politics in it.

14.) You don't really know the distinction between socialism and communism, and fail to realize that much of Europe, Canada and some US policies are socialist.
Socialism and Communism are the same thing. Europe merely proves it. High taxes. Little privately owned property. Religous persecution. Its got all the requirements.

15.) You have to believe conservatives exaggerating the truth to go to war belong in the White House.
No, dont believe that one either. Good thing we havnt had any in there.

16.) You have to believe the separation of church and state should be ignored by Christians when appropriate.
I dont believe that. Christianity should never be the National Religion and All non-christians should not be placed in jail or executed for not being christian.

17.) You have to believe that illegal corporate Republican funding is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
Nope dont believe that. But for kicks show where there is "illegela corporate funding".

18.) You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, left wing conspiracy
Nope dont believe that either. Unless the vast left wing conspiracy is a group of prepubescent mental midgets, then this couldnt have been posted by them.

Only 1 out of 18. Im a terrible republican.

 

[Annie]

MAn im a terible republican.

18 Ways to be a good Republican

1.) You have to believe that the AIDS virus was created by a magical deity to punish mankind.
Dang i dont believe that. I believe some people had sex with monkeys in Africa.

2.) You have to believe that the topic of sex is more dangerous to children than exposure to violence and murder via media.
No on this one too. I think they are equally dangerous to kids without parental guidance.

3.) You have to believe democratic nuclear weapons are less of a threat to the world than communist nuclear weapons.
Ha thats a trick question. They are the same thing

4.) You have to believe that the best art comes from corporate associations.
Guh? I thought art came from artists

5.) You have to believe every American has the right to drive a 6 person 10 mpg Sport Van to work and back and that we need to widen all the roads, create more parking lots, and drill for more oil wherever possible, or invade other countries if needed.
I do agree with this one. They want to spend $60 at the pump everytime, thats their money. Also believe we need a better highway system and more available oil in our control. So drilling for oil negates the invading other countries cause then we wont need it.

6.) You have to believe that homosexuality is new to our society, and the the ideal TV 50's was the perfect era.
Nope dont believe that. You cant go by what you see on TV, because if you did that, you'd think 60% of America was gay.

7.) You have to believe that preventing abortion of an inseminated egg is more important than poverty, war, peace, loss of innocent lives or hunger.
Honestly i dont really care on any. People make their own decisions.

8.) You have to believe that dominating businesses like mcdonalds, coca cola, starbucks, walmart and microsoft showcase what quality businesses are all about, and that a government that promotes paranoia, war and censorship will create prosperity.
McDonalds, Starbucks, Walmart and Microsoft were all small businesses at one point. They worked their way up to be what they are. So we should spit on them for success instead of praising them. As for the government you propose, im against all of that. Thats why i vote against democrats. Where have you been?

9.) You have to believe that money is more important than actually doing something good to earn it.
No on this one too.

10.) You have to believe in the corrupt politicians that start wars as long as they are conservative.
No on this as well. I dont believe in any corrupt politicians. Except Teddy Kennedy. I truley believe he is as crazy as he appears.

11.) You have to believe that taxes and gas prices are too high, and that we should increase military spending as an investment in oil.
Well i dont know what your trying to say exactly, but taxes are too high and we should increase military spending. Investment in oil makes no sense unless you mean drilling for more in our own territory then yes i do agree with that. Got 1 so far.

12.) You have to believe that women have no place in history or politics except perhaps as first lady to a great man.
Don't believe that either. There have been many great women over the years. The problem is they were so busy cooking, cleaning and being good housewives that they didnt have time to take any credit. Not that they would any way. Theyd be too humble.

13.) You have to believe that standardized tests can help an outdated education system that teaches no modern skills.
Dont believe that one either. In fact i dont believe a Government school can teach modern skills. Too much politics in it.

14.) You don't really know the distinction between socialism and communism, and fail to realize that much of Europe, Canada and some US policies are socialist.
Socialism and Communism are the same thing. Europe merely proves it. High taxes. Little privately owned property. Religous persecution. Its got all the requirements.

15.) You have to believe conservatives exaggerating the truth to go to war belong in the White House.
No, dont believe that one either. Good thing we dont havnt had any in there.

16.) You have to believe the separation of church and state should be ignored by Christians when appropriate.
I dont believe that. Christianity should never be the National Religion and All non-christians should not be placed in jail or executed for not being christian.

17.) You have to believe that illegal corporate Republican funding is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
Nope dont believe that. But for kicks show where there is "illegela corporate funding".

18.) You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, left wing conspiracy
Nope dont believe that either. Unless the vast left wing conspiracy is a group of prepubescent mental midgets, then this couldnt have been posted by them.

Only 1 out of 18. Im a terrible republican.

Thanks Insein, you make this seem like a poll, a rather long, boring one, but nonetheless, I have the time as I'm on vacation now until the 3rd.