Beasley's Security

Discussion in 'Politics' started by onecut39, Nov 16, 2011.

  1. onecut39

    onecut39 VIP Member

    Dec 3, 2008
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    Seems like fantasy and made up stuff is becoming more popular on this board. I have no objection and I began to wonder just what life would be like in our brave new world of private police and security.

    Something like this maybe?

    (hey it is no worse than the birthers made up stuff)

    Phone dialing 12 digit number

    Phone rings

    “Good evening, Beasley’s Security service. How may we be of help?”

    (Whisper) “There is a guy walking around outside looking in my windows”

    “Excuse me sir but do you have a residential or a business account”

    (Whisper) “residential”

    “One moment sir while I switch you to our residential headquarters”

    Phone rings, rings, rings, rings

    “Good evening, Beasley’s residential security service, How may I be of help?”

    (whisper) “There is a guy outside looking in my windows my car is gone and I think he thinks there is no one home”

    “Thank you for that information sir. Could you tell me where you live?”

    (whisper, hurried) 11818 woodbury………………….

    Voice interrupts: “Sorry sir, just your zip code”

    “But I think he may be trying to get in!”

    “Please sir, the zip code?

    (rushing) 55692!

    “Do you have the final four sir?

    (angry) “No dammit!”

    “one moment sir”

    Phone rings, rings
    Voice: Your call is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

    Elevator music

    “Good evening, Beasley’s Security Service, Minneapolis branch, how may I help you?

    “Dammit man there was a guy outside and I think he is now in the house and I need help”

    “Stay calm sir. May I have your account number?”

    “Account number???)

    “Yes sir you were instructed to always have it with you. You were given a wallet card.”


    Blurting: 277397418b74


    “Thank you sir your account has been verified”

    Phone rings, rings, rings, rings……………..

    Sound of door opening, two shots, phone clattering, body falling to floor

    “Good evening sir, this is Beasley’s North Minneapolis rapid response team. How may we be of help?’

    Sir? Please answer sir.”


    “Sir, I must warn you that these prank false alarm calls can cause great innefficieny and possible harm to our clients. Your account will be flagged and further violations will result in penalties.”


    Muffled laughter

    Phone is hung up.

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