Bad day at work? Nahhhh not you.

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Mr. P, Jan 24, 2006.

  1. Mr. P

    Mr. P Senior Member

    Aug 5, 2004
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    South of the Mason Dixon
    Next time you have a bad day at
    > work ... think of this guy, Rob is a commercial saturation diver for
    > Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
    > drilling rigs.
    > Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
    > station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst
    > job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
    > Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
    > Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
    > lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
    > realize it's not so bad after all.
    > Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
    > few technicalities of my job.
    > As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
    > office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what
    > we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
    > heater.
    > This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
    > it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through
    > a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
    > Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with
    > no complaints.. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
    > take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my
    > whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
    > Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
    > So, of course, I scratched it.
    > This only made things worse.
    > Within a few seconds my butt started to burn I pulled the hose out from my
    > back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The
    > hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
    > Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick
    > to it.
    > However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
    > When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
    > jellyfish into the crack of my butt
    > I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
    > instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
    > divers, were all
    > laughing hysterically
    > Needless to say I aborted the dive.
    > I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
    > totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
    > chamber dry decompression.
    > When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
    > As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
    > down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt
    > as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
    > couldn't poop for two days because my butt was
    > swollen shut.
    > So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
    > it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
    > Now repeat to yourself,
    > "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
    > Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself,
    > Is this a jellyfish bad day?
    > May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!

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