- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
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This is a consumerism-parable involving the FDA and the comic book vigilante Batman, inspired by the films Food, Inc. and Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle.
Is political analysis in this modern age necessarily gibberish?
Cheers,
====
"There was a field of Cabbage-Patch Kids, mostly babies, somewhere in the American Midwest in the summer of 2019. The New England Patriots [NFL] had just won Super Bowl 53, and advertisers were marketing New England Clam Chowder [NECC] like wildfire. Consumerism and media was at a height/maximum, but the Cabbage-Patch Kids were concerned that the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) was not doing enough to monitor the quality of goods sold in the USA. This baby-patch of Cabbage-Patch Kids was a sign, perhaps, of the Christian Apocalypse, a great tribulation involving the complications of capitalism."
"The masked vigilante/superhero Batman decided to kidnap one of the Cabbage-Patch Kids, ripping him from his little cabbage-pad, and then he took the babe to a log-cabin and began feeding him Gerber baby foods. Batman gave the baby the nickname/alias Elijah, after the Biblical figure of intrigue and mysticism. Batman wanted to assure Elijah that the FDA would be obligated to review the quality of all consumer-items sold in major American supermarkets such as Acme including Gerber baby foods."
"An evil queen living in Europe named Bavmorda and her insidious assassin named Scarecrow wanted to 'pervert' or corrupt America's management and praise of the FDA so that consumerism/capitalism would be 'sullied.' This would force pedestrians to think of the various reasons anti-capitalism terrorists destroyed the World Trade Center on September 11 [2001]. Bavmorda sent Scarecrow to America to kill the heroic Batman whom Bavmorda believed would try to endorse/enhance the reach/scope of the FDA in this time of great consumerism fervor."
"Scarecrow arrived in Manhattan and recruited a terrible crime-syndicate monster working for the narcotics-ring Black Mask. This monster/psycho was named Mr. Hammer, since he wielded a giant sledgehammer which he used to destroy parked cop-cars. Scarecrow ordered Mr. Hammer to find Batman's car and destroy it. Mr. Hammer asked Scarecrow why he ordered such a task, and Scarecrow explained that there was a new anti-American 'initiative' to subvert any social idealism towards the FDA, and Batman's car (the 'Batmobile') was a 'vehicle' for consumerism-labyrinth defenses. Mr. Hammer agreed to do the task."
"Batman had kept Elijah safely locked in the log-cabin and then traveled to Manhattan to attend a special conference involving the executives of the FDA and business consultants tied to Trump's Cabinet. Batman drove to the conference in his Batmobile. At the conference, Batman successfully convinced the attendees to consider why the FDA was as important as the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) in this modern age of high commercial traffic and industry. When Batman was about to leave the conference, he discovered the Batmobile was completely destroyed. Batman concluded that someone was trying to completely undermine any political initiative designed to enhance the influence of the FDA."
BATMAN: What're you doing here?
SCARECROW: I sent Mr. Hammer to destroy your Batmobile!
BATMAN: What do you want?
SCARECROW: I've been sent by a queen in Europe.
BATMAN: Why?
SCARECROW: To confound your work with the FDA/EPA.
BATMAN: Are you some kind of terrorist?
SCARECROW: Bavmorda is merely a capitalism-complication messenger.
BATMAN: She's a hellraiser...you're her minion!
SCARECROW: So what...the Apocalypse approaches, Batman.
BATMAN: The AntiChrist can not pervert the value of the FDA.
SCARECROW: Really? It seems 9/11 woke people to the realities of angst.
BATMAN: Capitalism has adversaries but also defenders...
SCARECROW: Why do you want to be a 'FDA/EPA doctor'?
BATMAN: It's the duty of patriots to bolster American institutions.
SCARECROW: There's nothing completely sane about American consumers.
BATMAN: I defend the sacredness of the Cabbage-Patch Kids and the EPA.
SCARECROW: The AntiChrist will remind us all of the reality of greed.
BATMAN: I'm the guardian of a Cabbage-Patch baby who reminds me of faith.
SCARECROW: Let's hope consumerism will survive this age of 'psychiatry.'
====
Is political analysis in this modern age necessarily gibberish?
Cheers,
====
"There was a field of Cabbage-Patch Kids, mostly babies, somewhere in the American Midwest in the summer of 2019. The New England Patriots [NFL] had just won Super Bowl 53, and advertisers were marketing New England Clam Chowder [NECC] like wildfire. Consumerism and media was at a height/maximum, but the Cabbage-Patch Kids were concerned that the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) was not doing enough to monitor the quality of goods sold in the USA. This baby-patch of Cabbage-Patch Kids was a sign, perhaps, of the Christian Apocalypse, a great tribulation involving the complications of capitalism."
"The masked vigilante/superhero Batman decided to kidnap one of the Cabbage-Patch Kids, ripping him from his little cabbage-pad, and then he took the babe to a log-cabin and began feeding him Gerber baby foods. Batman gave the baby the nickname/alias Elijah, after the Biblical figure of intrigue and mysticism. Batman wanted to assure Elijah that the FDA would be obligated to review the quality of all consumer-items sold in major American supermarkets such as Acme including Gerber baby foods."
"An evil queen living in Europe named Bavmorda and her insidious assassin named Scarecrow wanted to 'pervert' or corrupt America's management and praise of the FDA so that consumerism/capitalism would be 'sullied.' This would force pedestrians to think of the various reasons anti-capitalism terrorists destroyed the World Trade Center on September 11 [2001]. Bavmorda sent Scarecrow to America to kill the heroic Batman whom Bavmorda believed would try to endorse/enhance the reach/scope of the FDA in this time of great consumerism fervor."
"Scarecrow arrived in Manhattan and recruited a terrible crime-syndicate monster working for the narcotics-ring Black Mask. This monster/psycho was named Mr. Hammer, since he wielded a giant sledgehammer which he used to destroy parked cop-cars. Scarecrow ordered Mr. Hammer to find Batman's car and destroy it. Mr. Hammer asked Scarecrow why he ordered such a task, and Scarecrow explained that there was a new anti-American 'initiative' to subvert any social idealism towards the FDA, and Batman's car (the 'Batmobile') was a 'vehicle' for consumerism-labyrinth defenses. Mr. Hammer agreed to do the task."
"Batman had kept Elijah safely locked in the log-cabin and then traveled to Manhattan to attend a special conference involving the executives of the FDA and business consultants tied to Trump's Cabinet. Batman drove to the conference in his Batmobile. At the conference, Batman successfully convinced the attendees to consider why the FDA was as important as the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) in this modern age of high commercial traffic and industry. When Batman was about to leave the conference, he discovered the Batmobile was completely destroyed. Batman concluded that someone was trying to completely undermine any political initiative designed to enhance the influence of the FDA."
BATMAN: What're you doing here?
SCARECROW: I sent Mr. Hammer to destroy your Batmobile!
BATMAN: What do you want?
SCARECROW: I've been sent by a queen in Europe.
BATMAN: Why?
SCARECROW: To confound your work with the FDA/EPA.
BATMAN: Are you some kind of terrorist?
SCARECROW: Bavmorda is merely a capitalism-complication messenger.
BATMAN: She's a hellraiser...you're her minion!
SCARECROW: So what...the Apocalypse approaches, Batman.
BATMAN: The AntiChrist can not pervert the value of the FDA.
SCARECROW: Really? It seems 9/11 woke people to the realities of angst.
BATMAN: Capitalism has adversaries but also defenders...
SCARECROW: Why do you want to be a 'FDA/EPA doctor'?
BATMAN: It's the duty of patriots to bolster American institutions.
SCARECROW: There's nothing completely sane about American consumers.
BATMAN: I defend the sacredness of the Cabbage-Patch Kids and the EPA.
SCARECROW: The AntiChrist will remind us all of the reality of greed.
BATMAN: I'm the guardian of a Cabbage-Patch baby who reminds me of faith.
SCARECROW: Let's hope consumerism will survive this age of 'psychiatry.'
====
