Autobahn: Devil's Derivative

[Abishai100]

The German Autobahn is a federal controlled-access highway on which multiple stretches have no fixed speed limit, 'allowing' drivers to scale up to higher speeds as compared to 'normal' roads and transit highways.

Why would Germans build such a system? Are they trying to forget the martial errors of the Third Reich by exercising their natural cultural interests in vehicular derring-do safely (and legally)? That's plausible...

Driving is always a risk, and accidents diminish on roads that are well-regulated or at least streamlined (so you don't have a handful of drivers who are too slow mixed in with drivers who are going too fast!).

The Autobahn 'exorcises' our urge to go on 'regular roads' where we can 'test' the capability of our sports-cars without extreme danger.

I like to think of the Autobahn as Germany's version of NASA, but such a parallel modelling 'hypothesis' may offend the librarians...


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DRIVER 1: I want to test my new Lamborghini.
DRIVER 2: My Ferrari has more clear control.
DRIVER 1: We shall see on the Autobahn!
DRIVER 2: You have yourself a bargain.
DRIVER 1: Risk is always enticing when managed well.
DRIVER 2: This is due to the proper use of taxpayer-money.
DRIVER 1: The Autobahn is maintained by the German government.
DRIVER 2: It's become 'normal' to Germans, but to me, it's still as exciting as, say, NASA!
DRIVER 1: It may not be NASA, but it is certainly at least IBM.
DRIVER 2: I'm going to draw pictures of pleasant 'Autobahn traffic cops.'

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Autobahn

 

[Abishai100]

Racer X

Maybe what we need is simply more light-hearted storytelling about auto-racing imaginariums...

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Damien was a super-skilled auto-racer who enjoyed films such as Days of Thunder and Bobby Deerfield. Born in Denmark, he moved to the USA with his mother in 1981 and started learning about car-racing, racers, and movies about racers. Damien's dream was to become a cultural icon of the car-racing universe. He collected comic books, studied insects, enjoyed learning about worldly cuisines, and was a deep-down romantic curious about the feminine mystique, but most of all, he was an auto-racer (through-and-through). Damien had one strange anxiety --- the safety of the Autobahn.

Damien decided to travel to Germany on his 23rd birthday to drive on the Autobahn. He purchased an Alfa Romeo racing-car in Europe, a custom-made vehicle in Berlin. He named his car Daredevil, and his intention was to conquer his fear of the Autobahn by dominating it with gripping and swift driving and elegant gear-management of Daredevil. Damien decided he would paint a special symbol on Daredevil for the momentous challenge --- a small pistol (to signify his wish to dominate the Autobahn). Damien was about to encounter another racer on the Autobahn, a wild-eyed rogue driver (corrupt in spirit) named Fenton Doom (a weirdo who always wore a green mask to signify his mastery over Mother Nature and the forest).

Damien was zooming down the Autobahn when Fenton Doom came up behind him, driving his iconic black Ferrari sports-car. Fenton equipped his tires with special road-gripping material enabling him to maneuver around and hug the road tight enough to create a presence-nuisance while passing other drivers on the Autobahn. Fenton's understanding was that road-racing had to involve the efficient 'removal' of competing racers, so he intended to drive his Ferrari around Daredevil in such a way as to throw off Damien's driving-concentration. However, when Fenton Doom attempted the maneuver, Damien pulled out a blinding torch-light (handheld) and shone it in his eyes to distract Fenton long enough to zoom past him and revealed himself to be the true 'angel' of the misunderstood Autobahn. Fenton swore revenge against Damien (whom he started referring to as 'Racer X') and started developing a car-equipped apocalyptic missile-system. Fenton was obsessed, and Damien was simply in awe of the Autobahn.

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Autobahn (Wikipedia)

 

[yiostheoy]

Adolf created the Autobahn, and soon thereafter the US created its interstate freeway system.

This is one of many things invented at the behest of Adolf --

- the VW automobile (forerunner of the compact car)

- the rocket missile

- submarine warfare

- blitzkrieg tank warfare

- the STG (forerunner of the AK-47)

- the buzz bomb (forerunner of the cruise missile)

- the heavy tank "Tiger" (forerunner of the Abrams)

- the jet fighter

Jeeze was this guy a genius or what ?!