Authorities: Burglar wakes men with spice rub

CrimsonWhite

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Mar 13, 2006
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What the fuck?
Authorities: Burglar wakes men with spice rub

FRESNO, Calif. - Authorities say they've arrested a man who broke into the home of two California farmworkers, stole money, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing.

Fresno County sheriff's Lt. Ian Burrimond says 22-year-old Antonio Vasquez was found hiding in a field wearing only a T-shirt, boxers and socks after the Saturday morning attack.

He says deputies arrested Vasquez after finding a wallet containing his ID in the ransacked house.

The farmworkers told deputies the suspect woke them Saturday morning by rubbing spices on one of them and smacking the other with an 8-inch sausage.

Burrimond says money allegedly stolen was recovered.

Authorities: Burglar wakes men with spice rub - Yahoo! News
 
If sausages are outlawed only outlaws will have sausages.

Oh Oh! Sausages!!!

Great! Just fucking great.

Now I'm stuck with visions and the soundtrack of Eraserhead in my minds eye and ear for the next week.

Thanks heaps, OntheFence.
 
Here is a quandry. If a guy breaks into your house and attacks you with a sausage, do you shoot him?

This reminds me of Rodney Carrington talking about the guy breaking into his house and tickling him.
 
Imagine how humiliated this guy is going to be in jail.

"What are you in for?"

"Rubbing a guy with tarragon and assault with a sausage."
 
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Here is a quandry. If a guy breaks into your house and attacks you with a sausage, do you shoot him?

This reminds me of Rodney Carrington talking about the guy breaking into his house and tickling him.

Hell yes! You never know what he will do with that sausage, lol!!!! :lol:
 
Hell yes! You never know what he will do with that sausage, lol!!!! :lol:
How about the guy who got robbed with a sausage? What is he suppose to his friends when they asked what the weapon was the robber had?
" He got me with a sausage!"
I wonder how big the sausage was, was it a Jimmy Dean?
 
How about the guy who got robbed with a sausage? What is he suppose to his friends when they asked what the weapon was the robber had?
" He got me with a sausage!"
I wonder how big the sausage was, was it a Jimmy Dean?

Article says it was an 8 inch sausage. Not if that is a metaphor for something. :eek:
 
Here is a quandry. If a guy breaks into your house and attacks you with a sausage, do you shoot him?

This reminds me of Rodney Carrington talking about the guy breaking into his house and tickling him.

I think it depends on the kind of sausage

was it Italian? A big Polish Kilbasa or one of those skinny little spanish chorizo?

I'd shoot the chorizo :)
 

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