Anything Goes Humor

[Tinhatter]

 

[Auld Phart]

 

[the other mike]

I let an old homeless guy paint my porch for $50 . Three hours later he knocks on the door and says "All done. By the way, that's a BMW not a Porsche."

 

[Erinwltr]

This dawg just can't be bothered.

 

[deorro 1]

dang i wish i could read what that said..

 

[deorro 1]

You want to talk about empty space? The distance between George W Bush's ears is measured in lights years.

You want to talk about no brains? If brains were gasoline Sarah Palin wouldn't have enough to power a motorcycle around the outside of a dime.

Your mama's so fat her beeper went off and people thought she was backing up.

You're so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out with an application.

What's the difference bewteen a 747 and a blonde? Not everyone's been on a 747.

What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.

hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! That was awesome!!!

What do you call someone who says things as was just written to a series of jokes as was?


Sincere and hahahahahahaahahahahaha!!! True to speech, at least i try...

'don't be calling me a fool, Willus'.

 

[the other mike]

dang i wish i could read what that said..

This may help

 

[Wyld Kard]

dang i wish i could read what that said..

Problem solved, should be easier to read now.

 

[toobfreak]

View attachment 61160

I think what was most funny was that everyone showing up for the chicken were all blacks, and they all acted like it was a crime, like they were entitled to the food or something, a breech of contract, and they'd starve without it. They were probably back the next day demanding restitution. Except the one white guy who showed up who, out of chicken shrugged his shoulders and said: "Guess I'm off down the street for a pizza."

 

[the other mike]

Clip of Andrew Dice Clay playing a drunk Marine on M.A.S.H....

 

[Erinwltr]

View attachment 61160

I think what was most funny was that everyone showing up for the chicken were all blacks, and they all acted like it was a crime, like they were entitled to the food or something, a breech of contract, and they'd starve without it. They were probably back the next day demanding restitution. Except the one white guy who showed up who, out of chicken shrugged his shoulders and said: "Guess I'm off down the street for a pizza."

"They advertised on national TV, how you gonna run out of chicken?" LOL!

 

[bluzman61]

OK, here's one that I came up with that actually got published in Maxim Magazine some years ago - Question : How are an aging prizefighter and Dracula's mistress alike? Answer - They both go DOWN for the Count!

 

[bluzman61]

OK, here's a somewhat grisly one - Question : What was found during the autopsy on Jeffrey Dahmer? Answer : Jimmy Hoffa!

 

[bluzman61]

OK, one more for the road - Question : How many people does it take to circumcise a whale? Answer : Four Skin-divers!

 

[Erinwltr]

Hilarious song.

 

[Manonthestreet]

 

[Auld Phart]

 

[Erinwltr]

Took my slow ass a while but I finally got it. LOL!

 

[Erinwltr]

What mikey asks all his bottom bitchez. miketx

 

[williepete]

Raisin Bread
A general store owner hires a young female clerk with a penchant for very short skirts. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk, and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. “I’d like some raisin bread, please,” the man says politely.

The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, located on the very top shelf. The man, standing almost directly beneath her, is provided with an excellent view. As the clerk retrieves the bread, a small group of male customers gather around the young man, looking in the same direction.

Pretty soon each person is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down.

After a few trips the clerk is tired and irritated. She stops and fumes at the top of the ladder, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the throng. “Is yours raisin too?” the clerk yells testily.

“No,” croaks the feeble old man... “But it’s startin’ to twitch.”