Anything Goes Humor

[Auld Phart]

 

[Auld Phart]

 

[Auld Phart]

 

[Auld Phart]

 

[Bonzi]

 

[Auld Phart]

 

[Auld Phart]

 

[Bonzi]

 

[ChrisL]

 

[Bonzi]

 

[CremeBrulee]

 

[Bonzi]

 

[Bonzi]

 

[Iceweasel]

 

[the_human_being]

Went out with some friends to a strip joint the other night. We had a few drinks and were enjoying the strippers advance through their routines until finally this gorgeous little redhead took a turn at entertaining us. She stopped in front of one of my friends and began gyrating her very supple and well endowed body. My friend withdrew a ten dollar bill from his wallet, licked it and pasted the ten spot to her right butt cheek. The redhead moved on and stopped in front of friend number two. Friend number two took a twenty dollar bill from his wallet, licked it and pasted the twenty to the young stripper's left butt cheek. She tarried a moment more before moving on down to where Friend Number Three was sitting. Not to be outdone by the other two, Friend Number Three took a fifty dollar bill from his money clip, licked it and pasted it right above the crack of the little redheads anus. She smiled at me and moved to position herself directly in front of me. I am not a wealthy man. What was I to do? I could in no way top the fifty dollars that Friend Number Three had passed above the crack of the little redhead's anus. I took out my Visa Card and swiped the card through the redheads anus, then retrieved the eighty dollars my friends had pasted onto the busty little redhead, and departed.

 

[Bonzi]

 

[Auld Phart]

You're a pole?

 

[Wyld Kard]

One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops.

“What are you doing, Mommy?” The mother too embarassed to tell her little girl about sex so she makes up an answer. “Well, sweetie, sometimes daddy’s tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out.”

The little girl replies, “Well, mommy you really shouldn’t bother with that.” The mother has a confused look on her face, “Why do you say that sweetheart?” The little girl replies, “Because mommy, everytime you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes over and blows it back up.”

 

[theliq]

One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops.

“What are you doing, Mommy?” The mother too embarassed to tell her little girl about sex so she makes up an answer. “Well, sweetie, sometimes daddy’s tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out.”

The little girl replies, “Well, mommy you really shouldn’t bother with that.” The mother has a confused look on her face, “Why do you say that sweetheart?” The little girl replies, “Because mommy, everytime you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes over and blows it back up.”

What's the Brick on the side of an Americans head called ??????????AN EXTENTION....enjoy Guys .....steve(only teasing but a neat one liner all the same)

 

[Iceweasel]

The sex ed teacher shows some slides and asks, "who knows what
these are called"? Sally waves enthusiastically, "I know, they're mammaries
and my mommy has two of them."

She then shows a graphic depiction of a woman and her ovaries. "What
are these called?" Tommy answers correctly, "Those are ovaries and
my mommy has two of those too."

"Very good" says the teacher, she shows the next photo and calls on
Carli, who giggles and says "Those are testicles, and my daddy has two
of those too!"

"Very good Carli", she says, then shows a penis. This time little Johnny
is called on, "That's a penis and my dad has two of those too".

"No Johnny, I'm sorry, your daddy only has one, I'm sure" the teacher says.

"Nope, he has two" insists little Johnny.

The teacher comes back, "I'm certain he only has one Johnny, men only
have one of those".

Johnny, not to be deterred, insists yet again "Nope, my dad has two! I've
seen both of them. He uses a little one to go to the bathroom with and he
has a big one mommy brushes her teeth with."