Anyone Else 'Clean' Something To 'Death'?

[Annie]

In the 'olden days' when I was a stay at home mom, I kept a very clean house. Actually obsessive-got it from my mom. Even then I managed to scrub the kitchen floor too hard, removing the Congoleum finish in one spot, did get a new wooden floor thanks to that.

The past few years though-13 of them anyways-first because working 75+ hours a week for the first few years, with teenaged kids, then having my folks and a nurse move in, made me 'relax' my cleaning standards or lose my mind. I did too well at the 'relax' mode, though not enough to keep my kitchen floor safe, I had to replace with ceramic this time. Still and all, much got away from me. (Try moving from a 5 BD, 3 bath house to 3 BD, 1.5 bath townhouse. Now add in parents things from their home.)

Anyways, it's time to sell-parents are gone and kids done with college. So it's been crazy time hauling things to the curb, moving stuff to storage place, books! Oh my, books! Just about at the point to go for 'real cleaning.' Yesterday took down the blinds from patio door, the ones that hang vertical. I smoke, my dad smoked, very icky. So I washed and rinsed them in kitchen sink, they came out ok, but not what I wanted. Brainstorm! Fill the bathtub with hot water, bleach, grease 'lightening. Put the slats in there for 15 minutes. Now they look like 70's pop art. Going to have to replace that. LOL!

I wish I was writing a recipe or something, but it's take out for the foreseeable future.

 

[Phoenix]

If you make a paste of Oxi-Clean and put it on a white oxford (to get out stubborn ring-around-the collar), but forget to wash it fairly soon - the Oxi-Clean will eat through the material.

 

[Againsheila]

In the 'olden days' when I was a stay at home mom, I kept a very clean house. Actually obsessive-got it from my mom. Even then I managed to scrub the kitchen floor too hard, removing the Congoleum finish in one spot, did get a new wooden floor thanks to that.

The past few years though-13 of them anyways-first because working 75+ hours a week for the first few years, with teenaged kids, then having my folks and a nurse move in, made me 'relax' my cleaning standards or lose my mind. I did too well at the 'relax' mode, though not enough to keep my kitchen floor safe, I had to replace with ceramic this time. Still and all, much got away from me. (Try moving from a 5 BD, 3 bath house to 3 BD, 1.5 bath townhouse. Now add in parents things from their home.)

Anyways, it's time to sell-parents are gone and kids done with college. So it's been crazy time hauling things to the curb, moving stuff to storage place, books! Oh my, books! Just about at the point to go for 'real cleaning.' Yesterday took down the blinds from patio door, the ones that hang vertical. I smoke, my dad smoked, very icky. So I washed and rinsed them in kitchen sink, they came out ok, but not what I wanted. Brainstorm! Fill the bathtub with hot water, bleach, grease 'lightening. Put the slats in there for 15 minutes. Now they look like 70's pop art. Going to have to replace that. LOL!

I wish I was writing a recipe or something, but it's take out for the foreseeable future.

Annie, would you please come stay at my house for a couple of weeks....you can leave when everything is clean, and I like 70's pop art...lol.

 

[JBeukema]

Anyone Else 'Clean' Something To 'Death'?

I put our neighbor's cat in the washing machine and it died

 

[Phoenix]

Annie, would you please come stay at my house for a couple of weeks....you can leave when everything is clean, and I like 70's pop art...lol.

I'm next on the list!

 

[xotoxi]

I did too well at the 'relax' mode, though not enough to keep my kitchen floor safe, I had to replace with ceramic this time.

You actually scrubbed right through CERAMIC???

Remind me not to ask you to wash my back.

 

[Phoenix]

I put our neighbor's cat in the washing machine and it died

You're a sick and twisted individual, JB.






Which is why I find it frightening that you actually amuse me.

 

[Bootneck]

You want something cleaned properly? Get friendly with a miltary man. Clean and shiny is the military way.

 

[Annie]

I did too well at the 'relax' mode, though not enough to keep my kitchen floor safe, I had to replace with ceramic this time.

You actually scrubbed right through CERAMIC???

Remind me not to ask you to wash my back.

LOL! Oh no! Had some sort of cheap stuff on floor, scrubbed the finish off. Replaced with ceramic, seems the way I should always go in the kitchen! Lucky for the wood floor in the old house, with the divorce it caught a break.

 

[Phoenix]

You want something cleaned properly? Get friendly with a miltary man. Clean and shiny is the military way.

Hmmmm ....

Oh, Bootneck, wanna come clean and polish the hardwood floors in my house? *bats eyelashes*
And when you're done with that ... you can ... clean out the refrigerator.

 

[Bootneck]

Anyone Else 'Clean' Something To 'Death'?

I put our neighbor's cat in the washing machine and it died

That's not the way to do it! Follow these instructions and you can clean the cat and the lavatory bowl in one operation:

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the lavatory bowl and the cat will be sparkling clean.

 

[Bootneck]

You want something cleaned properly? Get friendly with a miltary man. Clean and shiny is the military way.

Hmmmm ....

Oh, Bootneck, wanna come clean and polish the hardwood floors in my house? *bats eyelashes*
And when you're done with that ... you can ... clean out the refrigerator.

You couldn't afford my fee.

 

[Phoenix]

You couldn't afford my fee.

Well that's a bummer.

 

[JBeukema]

Anyone Else 'Clean' Something To 'Death'?

I put our neighbor's cat in the washing machine and it died

That's not the way to do it! Follow these instructions and you can clean the cat and the lavatory bowl in one operation:

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

*purrs bottle of carpet shampoo into the portapotty*


Hey look, I can see mexico through this hole!

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

*grabs cat by the back of the neck*

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

*throws cat in the hole in the portapotty*

Is it supposed to cry?

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

Needs more agitation...

*pushes portapotty down a hill*

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".

*looks around*

I know

*goes and gets large wrench. opens fire hydrant near the scene*


Gentle rinse

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

*Walks inside*

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

*turns on the TV*

[/quote]9. Both the lavatory bowl and the cat will be sparkling clean.[/quote]


Convenient! *pets cat*

wait... if the cat is here..

Where's the baby?

 

[xotoxi]

You want something cleaned properly? Get friendly with a miltary man. Clean and shiny is the military way.

Hmmmm ....

Oh, Bootneck, wanna come clean and polish the hardwood floors in my house? *bats eyelashes*
And when you're done with that ... you can ... clean out the refrigerator.

You couldn't afford my fee.

I'm sure that Eve has a few extra pounds.

 

[Phoenix]

I'm sure that Eve has a few extra pounds.

Oh great! YOU saw those pictures too?

*mutters* Boy, that's the last time I send pictures to ...

 

[xotoxi]

I did too well at the 'relax' mode, though not enough to keep my kitchen floor safe, I had to replace with ceramic this time.

You actually scrubbed right through CERAMIC???

Remind me not to ask you to wash my back.

LOL! Oh no! Had some sort of cheap stuff on floor, scrubbed the finish off. Replaced with ceramic, seems the way I should always go in the kitchen! Lucky for the wood floor in the old house, with the divorce it caught a break.

Oh...in that case, if you only scrubbed off the finish, then you could wash my back.

See...my back is like a carpet that is laid over nice hardwood. With your cleansing techniques, you might be able to expose the hardwood.

 

[Phoenix]

I put our neighbor's cat in the washing machine and it died

That's not the way to do it! Follow these instructions and you can clean the cat and the lavatory bowl in one operation:

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

*purrs bottle of carpet shampoo into the portapotty*


Hey look, I can see mexico through this hole!



*grabs cat by the back of the neck*



*throws cat in the hole in the portapotty*

Is it supposed to cry?



Needs more agitation...

*pushes portapotty down a hill*



*looks around*

I know

*goes and gets large wrench. opens fire hydrant near the scene*


Gentle rinse

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

*Walks inside*

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

*turns on the TV*

9. Both the lavatory bowl and the cat will be sparkling clean.[/quote]


Convenient! *pets cat*

wait... if the cat is here..

Where's the baby?[/QUOTE]


Uh-oh!

 

[JBeukema]

If that's on your back, xo, there's something wrong...

 

[Bootneck]

Hmmmm ....

Oh, Bootneck, wanna come clean and polish the hardwood floors in my house? *bats eyelashes*
And when you're done with that ... you can ... clean out the refrigerator.

You couldn't afford my fee.

I'm sure that Eve has a few extra pounds.

I could work those off, no trouble.