An idea!!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by RadiomanATL, Sep 21, 2010.

  1. RadiomanATL
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    RadiomanATL Senior Member

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    We need a "Cool Story, Bro!" subforum!

    Anyway, my offering. Too good not to share.



    Scallops, right? You know how you catch them recreationally? Bay scallops, not ocean. You get in water about waist to neck deep, in the weeds, with a dive bag with you. You brush the grass aside and look for the scallops. They're not like oysters, they're mobile. They migrate into the grass during a certain time of the year. It's pretty cool, cause you get see all kinds of cool wildlife in their environment. Stingrays, crabs, horseshoe crabs, baby sharks, etc. Of course, being half redneck, beer is definitely involved.

    Anyway, we had decided to go scalloping. I was about 12 or 13. My father was driving the boat. My uncle, myself, a few family friends would do the actual gathering. My father parks the boat and over the side we go, floating on our stomachs, looking down and breathing through our snorkels looking for patches of scallops and likely areas.

    Anyway, my uncle runs across a big patch of them. He starts harvesting them...then runs out of room in his divebag. He looks up...he's about 100 yards away from the boat. He's afraid he won't find the patch so easily again, or he's lazy....he starts stuffing them down his suit.

    Suddenly he rears up, spitting out the snorkel, screaming "They got me! They FUCKING GOT ME!".

    My father picks up a paddle (it was a pontoon boat with an engine, but it's always smart to have 3 or 4 paddles handy just in case). My father is looking for a small shark...a barracuda...something. He figures that something is attacking him. My father starts the boat and gets it over next to my uncle.

    By this time my uncle is pointing at this shorts, screaming. The rest of us have gotten over to the scene and in the boat, and haul him up into it. My father is still yelling "What bit you in the dick??!"

    My uncle drops his shorts, and right there is 3 scallops hanging off of his sack, and one hanging off the tip of his dick. One of the family friends (half drunk) whips out a K-Bar knife and slurs "I'll gets them". My uncle punched him and said if he got near his dick with that knife he'd cram the scallops up his ass.

    My father, sober, says "Well, Charlie. We could take you to the hospital. But let me tell you. They're going to call every single nurse within a 3 block radius to come and look at this shit".

    My uncle wound up over the next 30-45 minutes, sitting on a bench seat on the boat very carefully prying them off with an oyster knife (a dull knife, but heavy duty. Think of a thick butter knife).

    My uncle NEVER lived this story down.
     
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  2. Madeline
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    Madeline BANNED

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    I think the idea is a good one, though I'm not sure how the ladies would play. BTW, how do scallops attach themselves?

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OP4cZM-Y54]YouTube - Stand By Me 1986 - Leech Scene[/ame]
     
  3. Granny
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    Granny Gold Member

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    Scallops are in shells. Perhaps they just opened their shells and took the bait. :tongue:
     
  4. Conspiracist
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    Conspiracist Snuggle weather rocks!

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    Must spread some rep
     
  5. Conspiracist
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    Conspiracist Snuggle weather rocks!

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    When I was young, we used to go night fishing a lot. We all knew how to bait our own hooks, replace our sinkers and hooks all that jazz, but for some reason when my father baited the hooks we caught more fish.

    I'm fishing in shallow waters and my rod just about went to the drink but I got lucky and caught it before it did. I started reeling and it was one hell of a fight. I'm laughin' and reelin' and my dad was shouting directions on proper techniques. Then in the lantern light I saw my fish in about 6 inches of water. It was about a 24" catfish and he slipped off the hook and got away. I was all excited and let down at the same time.

    My father told me I can get him again and had me set my rod down so he could bait it. I was walking around talking shit about the fish's get away and my foot got tangled in the fishing string of my rod that my father was baiting, when I yanked my foot the hook rammed straight through his thumb. He's yelling, "What the fuck are you doing!? STOP STOP STOP!" I figured out what was going on and stopped and released the tension on the string. Just as he was getting the hook out of his thumb, my stepbrother was casting and drawing WAYYYY back for the big cast and when he went to throw his hook caught my father right in the ass! LOL

    My father started yelling, "Fuck this shit! We're going home!"

    Those kinda memories are priceless.
     
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  6. Mr.Fitnah
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    Mr.Fitnah Dreamcrusher

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