An Eastern Mojito (Shiva-Krishna-Ravana)

[Abishai100]

Shiva (the Hindu god of destruction) and Krishna (Hindu god of negotiation) represent Indian mythological conceptions of governance idealism and have been depicted in various folk-tales as well as formal religious texts.

Ravana is the multi-headed warlord and 'evil ruler' also from Hindu mythology (the Ramayana specifically) who represents anarchy and fascism.

Here is a mock dialogue between these three 'titans' from Eastern mythology meant to provoke dialogue about Western culture.

What do you think these three Hindu titans would say about the finance-minded U.S. President-elect (Donald Trump)?


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RAVANA: This heretical 'government of heaven' is gauged purely by wealth.
SHIVA: Lord Krishna and I have worked very hard to obtain our fortunes.
KRISHNA: We believe in a meritocracy, Ravana!

RAVANA: You're nothing more than an 'empire' (just like America).
SHIVA: Like America, we believe in the democratic process.
KRISHNA: We believe in the right to an education.

RAVANA: If I were supreme ruler, I would distribute toy guns to youngsters.
SHIVA: You can't dissuade violence with messages about anarchy.
KRISHNA: Water-guns are fine, but too many 'war toys' only breeds suspicion.

RAVANA: I have many heads and many questions.
SHIVA: Each question deserves the attention of the masses.
KRISHNA: Each question represents an opportunity for negotiation, Ravana!

RAVANA: What do you two 'Lords' say about Capitalism vs. Communism?
SHIVA: I like Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States.
KRISHNA: I like George Orwell's Animal Farm.

RAVANA: Idle talk and romanticism is for women; we need to wield terror!
SHIVA: Terrorism is simply a 'code-word' for frustration.
KRISHNA: Any political theory requires the consent of the students.

RAVANA: Are you suggesting we tell students, "Endorse Burger King!"?
SHIVA: Consumerism is not as dangerous as bigotry.
KRISHNA: We must negotiate a treaty for 'peaceful profiteerism.'

RAVANA: Here's a treaty --- give me reign over nuclear Communist North Korea!
SHIVA: Praise supervisory (Professor Emeritus) roles; but don't tarnish democratic South Korea.
KRISHNA: Why not build commercial bridges (free market) between USA and China?

RAVANA: I refuse to become a Facebook zombie.
SHIVA: You don't have to 'sweet-talk' America to understand its role.
KRISHNA: If you hate the Internet, Ravana, consider the YMCA (for social work).

RAVANA: Let us break bread and watch Modern Family together then!
SHIVA: I'm a big fan of neo-liberals.
KRISHNA: Kids love the stage!

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[Abishai100]

SHIVA'S DOLPHINS


I really liked how this turned out, and I liked how Shiva came out kind of conspicuously 'on-top' in this three-way debate, so I'm adding an addendum, this time spear-headed just by Shiva.

This is actually a nice message for ecology!


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Shiva's Diary Entry:

"Today, I thought about the various people/spirits passing around me and in and out of my life, and how my loyalty is firstly to Ganga (the miniature goddess who is a praise for waters and resides in my sacred hair) and then to the animals and humans and sentient beings/gods.

Ravana approached me and asked me, 'Why are you loyal to a prophetess of water when humanity and the gods seek your advice for the management of Earth's oceans and ecosystems?' to which I replied, 'I considered allying myself formally to Lord Krishna and also to the goddess Kali as well as a beautiful handmaiden named Elizabeth, but in the end, I decided that my care and compassion for the animals (specifically dolphins who ward off sharks from precocious humans) was my first priority (for friendship and service) and such an investment would benefit humanity, the gods, and my other loved ones (e.g., Kali)!'

When I gave that response, Ravana seemed disappointed but thoughtful. He conceded that any sentient being has the right to determine who his friends and loved ones are, but he wondered why an animal was elected as the diplomat of my benefaction and not humans or goddesses. I realized that Ravana's primary concern was how to formulate a 'pyramid of prestige,' and I subtly advised him to seek some kind of advisory role for SeaWorld, but then I consulted with my trusted friend Lord Krishna to make sure someone would then watch over Ravana (given his somewhat unruly temperament!)."

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