Americans were sort of hoping Mueller would arrest someone new every day

Discussion in 'Political Satire' started by DrLove, Nov 3, 2017.

  1. DrLove
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    DrLove Gold Member

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    I'll be happy with three a month - at that rate we might drain this toxic swamp by this time next year :)

    WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After a memorable Monday, in which the special counsel announced criminal charges against three men associated with Donald Trump’s campaign, millions of Americans were sort of hoping that Robert Mueller would arrest someone new every day, a new poll indicates.

    According to the poll, Monday’s news that Paul Manafort, Rick Gates, and George Papadopoulos had been charged may have unfairly raised Americans’ expectations that Mueller would be generating new arrests at the rate of at least three a day.

    “Monday was one of the happiest days of my life,” one poll respondent said. “It started out great with Manafort and Gates, and then, bam, out of nowhere, Papadopoulos. I guess I started hoping all days would be like that.”

    Although Jared Kushner and Donald Trump, Jr., continue to be Americans’ most popular picks for the person Mueller arrests next, the poll suggests that, at this point, the indictment-starved public would be willing to settle for a lesser-known figure.

    “It doesn’t have to be someone I’ve heard of, like Ivanka or Pence,” one poll respondent said. “I’d be happy with Michael Flynn’s son, and I’m not even clear what he did in all of this.”

    Perhaps in response to the poll results, Mueller on Thursday issued the following official statement: “I understand people’s eagerness for more arrests, but all I can say is that if they’re patient we have some new ones coming up that are just amazing.”​

    Poll: Americans Were Sort of Hoping Mueller Would Arrest Someone New Every Day
     
    • Funny and Agree!! Funny and Agree!! x 1
  2. Billy_Kinetta
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    Billy_Kinetta Paladin of the Lost Hour Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    Americans are not hoping that. Democrats, on the other hand ...

    (Borowitz)
     
    • Winner Winner x 1
  3. gipper
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    gipper Libertarian/Anarchist

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    Mueller should arrest the entire political class, including himself.
     
  4. MACAULAY
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    MACAULAY Platinum Member

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    Mueller's is mentally conflicted....meaning he doesn't know what the shit to do next.

    All the evidence of Russian Collusion points to him, his boss Rubinstein, and his pal Comey...all of whom got in bed with the Obama/Clinton Uranium Fraudulent Sellout; and have had to stay in that bed as fraudulent co-conspirators continued doing their thing....up to and including the use of Foreign Agents by the Clinton Campaign to collude with the Russians to defeat Trump.

    Its complicated, yes, it gets that way when there is a Marxist in the White House for 8 years who corrupts the Justice Department and then every other branch of Government....as if Jefferson and Madison had set out to establish a Banana Republic--State Controlled Media and all.

    Trump is our only hope. Scary, yes, but its true....even the Republicans in Congress...many or most....are Pussies, or have Sold Out.

    My we live in interesting times. 2018 will surely be that.
     

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