American Vigilantes: Tracking Jason

Discussion in 'USMB Lounge' started by Abishai100, Apr 6, 2018.

  1. Abishai100

    Abishai100 VIP Member

    Sep 22, 2013
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    Jason Voorhees (iconic psycho-zombie from Friday the 13th horror-film franchise) has become such a landmark cinema-ghoul that we've basically equated him with every kind of human fear regarding the insecurities and lack of safety-and-security in neighborhoods and natural environments on our great blue planet Earth.

    Jason (as the story/fable goes) was a challenged youth at a summer camp who drowned when the counsellors were neglectful. His mother went on a vengeful killing spree before being killed herself. However, the demonic spirit of Jason lived on (in the lake he drowned in), and he was 'resurrected' as a gruesome and decaying zombie. Jason put on a hockey-mask he found and picked up a machete and became a terrible serial-killer, stalking individuals around the camp where he drowned. Sometimes, Jason wanders into non-camp areas to terrorize humanity, such as the island of Manhattan!

    Jason obviously symbolizes modern-day American fears regarding social instabilities in an otherwise network-devoted global landscape (e.g., 9/11, Oklahoma City bombing, etc.). Jason is the ultimate 'terrorism-monster' and arguably the Godzilla of murder and mayhem.

    The Friday the 13th films are terrific examples of artistic investments in 'psychological mysticism,' so we might imagine how/why and what kinds of Americans might become fascinated by the 'metaphysical existence' of Jason Voorhees (or some similar 'imagination-oddity' such as DC Comics' Swamp Thing!).

    So this yarn (my last one) is about two iconic American citizens deciding that Jason is real and trying to track the monster.

    The two citizens are Tom Cruise (American celebrity/movie-star) and Ajay Satan (young fictional Ivy League professor), and they're both passionate about confirming the philosophical 'sanity' of the avatar-presentations in horror films...




    CRUISE: Americans sure love horror-cinema!
    AJAY: Yeah. Are we Americans naturally crazy, man?
    CRUISE: I don't know, but you gotta think others might say so.
    AJAY: Yeah; imagine Osama --- "Americans are obsessed with Jason."
    CRUISE: I wonder if Friday the 13th films hide some 'metaphysical intelligence.'
    AJAY: Well, Friday the 13th is a date of high superstition and folklore.
    CRUISE: And while folklore is entertainment, it also speaks to real insanity.
    AJAY: Tom, it seems to me that insanity can be relative...

    Cruise and Ajay decided that the popularity of Friday the 13th films just might mirror some strange dark reality on the flipside of sanity(!). Ajay had met Cruise through a media-industry contact visiting the prestigious Ivy League school Dartmouth College (where Ajay taught a course on English Folklore). Ajay and Cruise became fast-friends and started watching American films representative of modern folklore together (mostly scary movies!). They watched Friday the 13th, Jeepers Creepers, Cujo, The Strangers, Gremlins, and The Shining. Cruise and Ajay concluded Americans' glaring fascination with scary movies suggested there might be some 'tangible sanity' to the indulgence in bizarre fears in a land (America) marked by great terrain variation (cities, countrysides, mountains, deserts, swamps) and pluralism-intrigue (multiculturalism-democracy, immigration-policy, culture-exchange).

    Cruise and Ajay decided to travel to New Orleans (Louisiana) which was a symbolic American place of great pluralism-intrigue and human flair/color (i.e., Mardi Gras). Cruise and Ajay donned the comic book superhero identities of the Flash (DC Comics) and Batman (DC Comics) and decided to go to Mardi Gras where they were sure that Jason might surface as a modernism 'spook' exploiting new age American fears/anxieties regarding pluralism instability (i.e., hate-crimes), traffic mismanagement (i.e., overpopulation), and labor dissatisfaction (i.e., labor strikes). New Orleans was America's 'crock-pot,' and Cruise and Ajay (aka, 'Flash' and 'Batman') decided Jason would be there to cause some kind of trouble. Flash and Batman wondered if they were being too 'dramatic' but decided that Friday the 13th films surely must reflect some 'real' metaphysical instability regarding evolutionary oddities (e.g., Swamp Thing imagination).

    Flash and Batman arrived in New Orleans where they 'blended in' the crowd, since Mardi Gras saw many people in festive/unusual costumes anyway (so no one questioned who they were or why they were in comic book superhero costumes!). 'Flash' (Cruise) was sure Jason was lurking in some alley, while 'Batman' (Ajay) believed Jason would be lurking in the swamp. They decided to split up, so Flash could scour the city-area, while Batman could navigate the swamp. It was Batman (Ajay) who found Jason first (since the monster was indeed lurking in the swamp!). Batman ran up to him with his homemade electric-spear (a fold-out walking-cane with attached electrocuting-device) and demanded to know if he was really Jason. When Jason raised up his machete and waved it, Batman knew it was Jason.

    Flash (Cruise) was in the city during one of the Mardi Gras street-parties when Batman (Ajay) ran up to him. "Jason is in the swamp! I found him!" Batman told Flash. Flash asked, "Are you sure it's the 'real' Jason and not some Mardi Gras lunatic in some homemade costume?" Batman confirmed it was Jason (he had noticed that Jason was actually a decaying zombie with real flesh rotting off his arms!). Flash wondered for the first time what kind of dark omen would make a horror-cinema monster real(!). Batman sensed Flash's thoughts and suggested that it was the 'reality' of darkness and evil which gave 'birth' to the monsters presented in horror films. After all, why were people 'sanely' shuddering at the sight of highly-bizarre creatures/monsters/psychos presented in outlandish horror-cinema?

    Batman and Flash went back to the swamp where Batman first sighted Jason. They discovered that Jason was still there. He had killed two policemen and was planting their decapitated heads into the ground of the swamp. Batman pulled out his electric fold-out cane-spear, while Flash pulled out his flare-gun. Batman yelled at Jason and demanded he 'depart' from Earth, but once again, Jason just looked at him and raised up his machete and waved it (ominously). Flash realized Jason was only there to create mayhem so there was no sanity in negotiating with the psychotic zombie. Flash asked Jason, "Are you the Jason depicted in the Friday the 13th films? Do you like movies?" Jason removed his hockey-mask and began to them, much to their surprise (and even chagrin).

    JASON: What're you doing here?
    BATMAN: We were going to ask you that.
    FLASH: Are you a fan of horror-cinema?

    JASON: I'm aware of the Friday the 13th films...
    BATMAN: Yet, you're not a 'fan' of America!
    FLASH: Yes, you're terrorizing the people of New Orleans.

    JASON: I killed two drunk cops wasting time in this swamp.
    BATMAN: Where is your pity, Jason?
    FLASH: Corrupt cops are investigated by Internal-Affairs (not psychos).

    JASON: Oh, I'm a psycho; yet, you two humans are dressed like 'avatars.'
    BATMAN: We like comic book superheroes and demand to address you.
    FLASH: We're not afraid of you...

    JASON: You should be afraid of me!
    BATMAN: Alright, perhaps it's jarring that you're real, but you're a criminal.
    FLASH: Depart from Earth or we'll continue to pursue and harass you, Jason.

    JASON: I'll make you a deal; I'll depart if you prove that Mardi Gras is not racist.
    BATMAN: That's a challenge, but we accept; Mardi Gras is a symbol of ornaments.
    FLASH: Yes, and ornaments are never a sign of cynicism or danger.

    JASON: Congratulations; you answered correctly, so I'll depart (keep this a secret).
    BATMAN: We'll be confidential; we'll also think about why ornaments are sacred.
    FLASH: We're relieved you're departing; we'll continue to enjoy your films!

    The End



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