All About Mom

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Adam's Apple, Mar 24, 2005.

  1. Adam's Apple
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    Adam's Apple Senior Member

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    "Why God made moms"
    The top few answers given by elementary school children to the following questions.


    Why did God make mothers?

    1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

    2. Mostly to clean the house.

    3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

    How did God make mothers?

    1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

    2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

    3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger
    parts.

    What ingredients are mothers made of?

    1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice
    in the world and one dab of mean.

    2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
    string, I think.

    Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

    1. We're related.

    2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

    What kind of little girl was your mom?

    1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

    2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty
    bossy.

    3. They say she used to be nice.

    What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

    1. His last name.

    2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get
    drunk on beer?

    3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES
    to chores?

    Why did your mom marry your dad?

    1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a
    lot.

    2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

    3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

    Who's the boss at your house?

    1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a
    goof ball.

    2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the
    bed.

    3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than
    dad.

    What's the difference between moms and dads?

    1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.

    2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

    3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause
    that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

    4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

    What does your mom do in her spare time?

    1. Mothers don't do spare time.

    2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

    What would it take to make your mom perfect?

    1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
    plastic surgery.

    2. Diet.

    3. Blue hair.

    If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

    1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get
    rid of that.

    2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who
    did it and not me.

    3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her
    head.
     
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  2. Trinity
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    Trinity VIP Member

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    That sounds like the line my 8 year old gave me the other day! He was completely baffled that I knew what he was doing 2 diffrent times with my back to him, he came up and was looking at the back of my head trying to find my invisible eyes! :laugh:
     
  3. Adam's Apple
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    Adam's Apple Senior Member

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    That is funny! How about their answers on how they would improve their moms - plastic surgery and diet! They really know how to hurt, don't they? :)
     
  4. Yurt
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    Yurt Gold Member

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    What about the "little birdie told me." I seriously believed it until about 10. My brother and I walked to the store, about a mile (small town) and I bought a candy bar with the money she gave us to buy our other goodies when she told me NOT to buy anything else, because this was our treat.

    Well, she knew I bought the candy bar. And she knew I hit my brother. I said, "no I didn't." She said, "yes you did." I said, "how do you know?" "A little birdie told me." I confessed to everything, everything! That damn bird, I never did find him. But I think my mom saw the reciept and still have no idea how she knew I hit my brother (a couple of times) on the way to the store. He could not have told her, because she got me as soon as we came home. You know what, maybe I should pick up my search for that birdie... :laugh:
     

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