Alcohol warning labels

[Merlin1047]

American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's
suggestion the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to
your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
is a major factor in dancing
like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may cause you to tell your
friends over and over again
you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may cause you to think you
can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may lead you to believe ex-
lovers are really dying for
you to telephone them at
four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may make you think you can
logically converse with mem-
bers of the opposite sex with
out spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
is the leading cause of inex-
plicable rug burns on the
forehead, knees and lower
back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may create the illusion you
are tougher, smarter, faster
and better looking than most
people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may lead you to think people
are laughing with you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may cause pregnancy.

WARNING: the konsumshun of alcohol
may Mack you tink you can
tipe reel gude.

 

[remie]

My own personal favorite:

Warning: Consumption of alcohol makes you think you are invisible and bullet proof.

 

[dilloduck]

Additionally alcohol consumption can lead one to think that the entire world is a toilet.

 

[Merlin1047]

Or "Alcohol comsumption may
cause you to think that the
stories you tell are interesting
even after having been repeated three times.

 

[opewon]

Additionally alcohol consumption can lead one to think that the entire world is a toilet.
__________________
And it's not? Maybe I need to go back to smoking pot to get a better handle on life...

 

[JOKER96BRAVO]

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may cause you to spend more money at the titty bar!!!

 

[waltky]

Granny says if ya go to Mexico don't drink the tequila

U.S. warns Americans of possible 'tainted' alcohol in Mexico
July 27, 2017 -- The U.S. Department of State has warned people traveling to Mexico about possibly tainted or substandard alcohol, and to drink responsibly after the death of a Wisconsin woman.

The department on Wednesday updated its alerts and warnings page on Mexico, where travelers can find different information on embassies, local laws and visa requirements. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel earlier reported that 20-year-old Abbey Connor became sick while drinking alcohol during a Mexican vacation in January. She was ultimately pulled from a pool at an Iberostar resort near Playa del Carmen.

Following the death of a Wisconsin woman in January during a trip to Mexico, the U.S. Department of State warned Americans of possibly tainted or substandard alcohol.​

The newspaper later received numerous reports from other travelers who said they fell ill and experienced blackouts at resorts in Cancun and Playa del Carmen -- incidents also possibly linked to alcohol. "There have been allegations that consumption of tainted or substandard alcohol has resulted in illness or blacking out," the State Department wrote in its updated web page. "If you choose to drink alcohol, it is important to do so in moderation and to stop and seek medical attention if you begin to feel ill."

Iberostar said it is cooperating with authorities over the possibly tainted or substandard serving of alcohol. "The safety and security of guests is utmost priority for us," the company said in a statement. "We are deeply saddened by this incident and reiterate our deepest sympathies and condolences to the family."

U.S. warns Americans of possible 'tainted' alcohol in Mexico