Alcohol warning labels

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Merlin1047, Sep 26, 2004.

  1. Merlin1047
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    Merlin1047 Senior Member

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    American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's
    suggestion the following warning labels be placed
    immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
    may leave you wondering
    what the hell happened to
    your bra and panties.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
    may make you think you are
    whispering when you are not.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
    is a major factor in dancing
    like a retard.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
    may cause you to tell your
    friends over and over again
    you love them.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
    may cause you to think you
    can sing.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
    may lead you to believe ex-
    lovers are really dying for
    you to telephone them at
    four in the morning.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
    may make you think you can
    logically converse with mem-
    bers of the opposite sex with
    out spitting.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
    is the leading cause of inex-
    plicable rug burns on the
    forehead, knees and lower
    back.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
    may create the illusion you
    are tougher, smarter, faster
    and better looking than most
    people.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
    may lead you to think people
    are laughing with you.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
    may cause pregnancy.

    WARNING: the konsumshun of alcohol
    may Mack you tink you can
    tipe reel gude.
     
  2. remie
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    remie Member

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    My own personal favorite:

    Warning: Consumption of alcohol makes you think you are invisible and bullet proof.
     
  3. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    Additionally alcohol consumption can lead one to think that the entire world is a toilet.
     
  4. Merlin1047
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    Merlin1047 Senior Member

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    Or "Alcohol comsumption may
    cause you to think that the
    stories you tell are interesting
    even after having been repeated three times.
     
  5. opewon
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    opewon Member

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    Additionally alcohol consumption can lead one to think that the entire world is a toilet.
    __________________
    And it's not? Maybe I need to go back to smoking pot to get a better handle on life... :beer:
     
  6. JOKER96BRAVO
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    JOKER96BRAVO Senior Member

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    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
    may cause you to spend more money at the titty bar!!!
     

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