I know it may shock some of you, but no, Jesus was in fact, NOT a Zombie. He was not mindless nor did he consume anyone. He was not a ghoul or a wight. Although his soul and intellect were intact, he was not a rotting corpse. He was not a vampire either. While he transsubstantiated wine into blood, he never drank it from a person. He was not a ghost or a wraith. He was corporeal and still had his wounds. So, after all of this, it is clear that Jesus was a LICH. That's right. There is no other explanation scientifically. So what is a lich? A lich is created when a powerful magician or king striving for eternal life uses spells or rituals to bind his soul to his animated corpse and thereby achieves immorality. Liches are depicted as being clearly cadaverous, their bodies still bearing the wounds they received before their death. Liches often have the power of necromancy, which allows them to bring the dead back to life. So, um, Happy Jesus Lich Day?