Advice From A Crabby Lady

Madeline

Rookie
Apr 20, 2010
18,505
1,866
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Cleveland. Feel mah pain.
Listen, you young adults. There are some things I wish someone had told me at your age and now I'm gonna tell you. Not fun stuff you wanna hear, but even so....

1. Your future isn't set at 15 or 20 or even 25....unless you fuck up badly. Don't get arrested. Don't get your face tattooed. Don't have a baby, especially at 15. Keep your options open.

2. Money matters. Credit scores matter. Don't borrow if you can avoid it, and save a few bucks.

3. By all means, get weird hair dos and leave your pants hang if you like. Those things are annoying enough to us older, crabbier people. No need to make us nuts by refusing to get a job or running with the wrong crowd.

4. In 5 years, you won't be able to name three people you went to high school with. They do not matter as much as you think.

5. Learn some manners and use them. Being rude should be Option B. The people who will hand out the goodies in this life will almost always be us older, crabbier people. Be nice to us.

6. Don't believe this bullshit that living with a partner is "as good as" being married, especially if you are female. It isn't. Get a cheap apartment you can afford on your own, and reduce the drama in your life.

7. Learn to use your voice and your handwriting. Say hello to people by telephone, and send hand written thank you notes, especially for job interviews.

8. People who spend too much time listening to VERY loud music as youngsters will be deaf as oldsters.

9. If you have supportive parents, be nice to them. If not, see if some old crabby person will mentor you. We're useful.

10. No matter what, enjoy being young. It doesn't last as long as you'd think.
 
I would add, "Remember that some day, YOU will be the crabby older person. No matter how brilliant and insightful you believe yourself to be right now, in twenty years, you WILL look back and see yourself very much the same way that the crabby older people you know and ignore right now do."
 

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