Abstinence Ed

[GotZoom]

Trinity, I salute you for having the courage to explain things to your kids. My parents, both 60's hippie types (take your best shot here), never talked to my sister or I about sex. I think they were afraid to do it. Since obviously their parents didn't do a good job of it.

Simply put, "at risk" teens normally come from broken or dysfunctional families. They have gotten little or no parental support or guidance. Many are unwanted or ignored. Typically, they live with a single mother or female relative who spends a lot of time working, or perhaps is unemployed and troubled by alcohol/substance abuse.
These girls are at substantial risk to quit school, join gangs, get pregnant and become delinquents. The vast majority are economically disadvantaged and typically ethnic. They have problems that few understand and fewer have time to deal with.
They are the faceless victims of the massive cuts in social services. Because their problems normally don't exist in the more economically privileged areas of Ivory Snow, America, these teens are often seen as unimportant.

I gravitated to this field because it is so prevalent where I grew up. I went to school with these girls. I got to know them. I felt they needed to be helped.
To help build up my credentials as a bleeding heart liberal, I have spent the last two summers working an unpaid intership at a social service agency. Since material possessions are unimportant to me, I have a four-year full academic scholarship and my fiance has a good paying job, I don't feel the pressure to work the normal minimum wage summer job. I would rather do this.
It is very soul satisfying, and leaves me with a lot of time to hug trees and otherwise make life miserable for decent normal Republicans.

Nice that material things are unimportant to you - and fortunate that if you do want/need something, you have your fiance to buy it for you.

 

[Mr. P]

Working quite fine for me.

It's clear no one ever gave you the real story...Abstinence occurs AFTER marriage not before.
Don't believe me? Ask any guy married for over 2 years..

 

[Joz]

They have problems that few understand and fewer have time to deal with.

FACT: Each agent that works for the Hamilton County Children Services has at any one given moment, no less than 1500 cases. There are MANY heartbreaking stories. And some just fall thru the cracks.

I have spent the last two summers working an unpaid intership at a social service agency.
It is very soul satisfying, and leaves me with a lot of time to hug trees and otherwise make life miserable for decent normal Republicans.

I too, have volunteered; for 11+ years. Just not at this.

But I do take offense about the tree-hugging. You're acting like you're the only one on this earth that cares.

 

[Avatar4321]

It's clear no one ever gave you the real story...Abstinence occurs AFTER marriage not before.
Don't believe me? Ask any guy married for over 2 years..

The only reason abstinence started after marriage for you is cause it didnt start before

 

[GotZoom]

You know, i know you are joking about this, but maybe having a mascot like abstinence Ed would be a good idea. I kinda like the name.

I had to laugh when I first red the article but...thinking about it - I don't know.

I don't know if any kind of education (pro or against) advocating either side is really effective.

As Gabrielle said (and I hate to agree...j/k), kids are bombarded with sex from everywhere. What is a parent suppose to do.

I lived in Italy for 6 years and I found it very interesting that they didn't have very many problems with teenage drinking or teenage sex. Their whole philosophy about each was that it was no big deal. It wasn't something that was forbidden since the kids could walk. Drinking wasn't made out to be a terrible thing - it was no big deal. Sex was the same thing. Everyone knew you waited until you were married. Why? Because you just did.

Now I'm not naive...I'm not saying that no teenage didn't have pre-marital sex. Of course, I'm sure they did. But there weren't the conversations in the media or the schools. There simply wasn't the problem as there is in the U.S.

 

[Gabriella84]

First of all, I want to thank Mr. P for giving me an enormous laugh. Though his logic doesn't apply to my parents, who remain quite frisky.

But I do take offense about the tree-hugging. You're acting like you're the only one on this earth that cares.

I didn't mean it that way at all. I was merely drawing reference to a popular conservative thought that liberals are tree-hugging hippies who don't care about anyone but themselves. There are a LOT of people who deeply care, whether they be liberal or conservative.

America is essentially a material society. The Great American Dream is to make it to the point where you can provide for your family and obtain the things that you had been earlier denied.
I simply was not raised that way. My parents taught my sister and I the meaning of money by not giving us any.
No allowances, no payment for normal household tasks. You made due with what you were given and were happy with it, since a lot of people had less than you (typical idealistic liberal philosophy there). We were taught that studying and maintaining our grades in high school was more important that earning minimum wage at Burger King and using it to buy trifles.
I am greatly influenced by my cousin Dahlia. After living a privileged childhood in Arlington (Texas), she moved to Los Angeles after HS to work with social services. He helps people who can't speak English deal with the system. She lives in a barrio in East Los Angeles. Her apartment is little more than a boom box, a 13" TV and a bed. Since she earns close to nothing.

The fact that my fiance earns a good income (he is, after all, a conservative Republican) doesn't mean we spend all of it. We have a town house and two cars to pay for. And I will eventually move on to grad school, which my undergraduate scholarship does not cover.
Some people just feel compelled to help. Doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, liberal or conservative. it is what is inside of you. Not everyone who falls into money uses it to buy a new bass boat.

 

[Mr. P]

First of all, I want to thank Mr. P for giving me an enormous laugh. Though his logic doesn't apply to my parents, who remain quite frisky.
......... Not everyone who falls into money uses it to buy a new bass boat.

You're welcome...It was a joke some fail to understand.

Now, Leave Bass boats out of this, a Pick-up truck is much more important!!!

 

[5stringJeff]

It's clear no one ever gave you the real story...Abstinence occurs AFTER marriage not before.
Don't believe me? Ask any guy married for over 2 years..

Got the wife pregnant after 2 1/2 years... eat your heart out! :

 

[GotZoom]

Got the wife pregnant after 2 1/2 years... eat your heart out! :

(you know I can't pass this up)

So...you got it once in 2 1/2 years? Good job buddy!

:

 

[5stringJeff]

This is total bullshit. Provocative advertising encourages early sexual experimentation. Prime time television programs that include sex encourage early sexual experimentation. The emphasis on sex in every aspect of society encourages early sexual experimentation.
Most of all, creating a mythical, forbidden aura encourages early sexual experimentation. Because kids will always want to rebel in the most shocking way possible. If sex is considered taboo and forbidden, kids are going to want to try it.

The best way to slow down the rate of teenage sexual activity is to educate teens about the risks and liabilities. One program that is enormously successful is school is forcing teen girls to "care for" one of those lifelike babies for two weeks. The "baby" can sense when it goes uncared for and reacts. Once young get past the overly romanticized nature of having kids and realize the 24/7 demands of children, they are less likely to want them, or risk having them.

Merely telling kids not to have sex doesn't work. They are going to do it anyway. It's like putting a cookie on the counter and telling a kid he can't have it. The kid will either eat while you are not looking, or go someplace where somebody doesn't mind giving him a cookie.

Anyone who thinks the "problems" of teen sex are going to disappear is incredibly naieve. Educators need to shift from saying "no" to saying "how." Because it is going to happen, whether you want it to or not.

Gabriella, I applaud you on your work to help the people who need it most.

That said, I would like to point one thing out to you. Teaching kids about abstinence doesn't mean that you don't teach them about the mechanics of sex. I think parents should teach their kids those things. But parents should also teach their kids that sex comes with lots of risks, two of which are pregnancy and STDs. Also, the decision to have sex needs to be made within the context of the religious beliefs of the family. I am starting to educate my 11-year-old daughter about such things, but I want her to understand that her sexual purity is not about what her mom and I want, it's about what God wants.

I also disagree that "it's going to happen anyway, we might as well make sure they know how." Anyone can make the decision not to have sex.

 

[5stringJeff]

(you know I can't pass this up)

So...you got it once in 2 1/2 years? Good job buddy!

:

Zing! Nice one!