A true Zionist Haj to both Jerusalem and Mecca: we invite you all to join us

Discussion in 'Israel and Palestine' started by kvetch, Nov 9, 2012.

  1. kvetch
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    kvetch Devout UK Hindu-Jew

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    A true Zionist Aliyah Haj to both Jerusalem and Mecca: we invite you all to join us

    Rosie and Kvetch have set up a brand new All-Semitic Zionist Enterprise

    Its called True Zionist Aliyah Haj Pilgrim Tours Inc.

    We invite you all to join us on our maiden pilgrimage to Jerusalem and Mecca

    The twin Zions of all Semites, of course.

    All posters can apply but you must create your own special role.

    Rosie and Kvetch are the the-rapists who will take best care of you all.

    Jerusalem and Mecca Syndrome loony hospital wards will be set up for anyone on our Haj who goes nuts

    Zionuts or Meccalist Nuts will be lovingly restored to health in our loony bins in both holy cities.

    Transport will be by Air Hossy-fly who is Prophet Mohammed's night journey horse reincarnated
    Hossy will fly anyone who can pay enough on a shuttle between Mecca and Al Aksa on Temple Mount.
    The pilotess on board all Hossyflights will be the peacock hen Paravani who has a very special love for Muslims, unlike Hossy Himself..

    Paravani is currently rewriting Shariah Law with Rosie to make it explicitly feminist.

    Security will be provided by Roudy's hairdryer which can throw nukes in cartoon form from its front at Mecca and backfire to Jerusalem; just as a warning of course. If that fails he will high kick the ass of anyone who steps out of line.
    Lipushi will be on hand to push anyone with terrorist thoughts over the waling wall or the kaba stone or both at once.

    We aim like true zionists to build settlements on stolen land in both Zions.
    The settler in chief will, of course, be Y-Kohen.

    Y-K is in charge of creating a Jewish settlement in Mecca, greater Israel
    And a Palestinian settlement in the Jewish Quarter of Jerusalem.

    If Y-Kohen is right, that there aint no real Palestinians to settle
    and if, sadly Mecca aint after all in greater Israel
    Then he will become an idle worshipper himself.

    We also; like truly modern Zionists; want to make both Zions much greener
    All the heat and aggro around both Zions are warming the whole bloody planet, e.g. floods in Eliat today.

    We hope to collect all the shit flying around to grow plants and help to make both surrounding deserts bloom
    Like true Zionists always do.

    All shit thrown by posters or poohed by all pilgrims will be lovingly collected by the real stars of this Aliyah Haj.
    And Kosher Halal seeds need to be planted in this shit to plant food and manna from heaven
    To sustain and nourish all the chosen children of Israel and Ishmael alike

    Is that your star role in our divine team?

    Please apply on this thread.

    You can suggest special roles for yourself, for any other posters
    Ad all celebrities, Arab or Israeli politicians; dead or alive or imaginary

    Anyone you like or can dream up.

    Gods and Messiahs included; we can't leave them out, can we???

    If this Aliyah Haj is a roaring success and makes loads of money and a great prophet, pboh
    We will take you all to other Zions worldwide
    In India; the Ganges, in Tibet, in Rome, and all places sacred to nations and faiths.

    Over to you, Our Habibis and Moteks and Sweeties.
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2012
  2. kvetch
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    kvetch Devout UK Hindu-Jew

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    we suspect that Y-Kohen is the only true Jew that God has yet created with irony deficiency.

    and without any sense of humour, unique among all Jews ever born.

    and colour blind black and white only vision.

    and a male ego which all ways has to be right.

    Lets see if we can heal him here of this lack of god given jewish talents

    Or maybe he has these talents but keeps them well hidden from us all so far, at least!
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2012
  3. kvetch
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    kvetch Devout UK Hindu-Jew

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    rosie said:

    I am a jewess kvetch----with the special interests of my sister jewesses WHO IS GOING TO FEED ALL THOSE HAJJI FRESSERS?-------that-----and daily clean undies for all?

    my suggestion was:

    well we have to have chicken soup, for starters

    with a special ingredient for Bikoz I know and Tinnie, too which involves baby brains

    to withdraw him, Tinnie and Israeli hell-icopter pilots from any addiction to jewish or pal baby brains being splattered under any circumstances.

    any hamas or IDF types or supporters and acolytes who drink this special chicken soup will miss all their child targets and throw up at pictures of child victims from Pallywood or Zio-wood !
     
  4. Roudy
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    Roudy Platinum Member

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    One minor detail, non Muslims, specifically Jews, are not allowed anywhere even near Meccacacaca-poop. "Apartheid!" "Racists!" :9:
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2012
  5. kvetch
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    kvetch Devout UK Hindu-Jew

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    we need a good jewish tailor to supply us with Burkas, false beards and male muslim garb

    extend our kippas into similar slightly larger muslim head gear

    you will take charge of farce protection in case we are discovered wont you??
     
  6. irosie91
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    irosie91 Diamond Member

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    Kvetch-----for rock circumambulation-----one must wear all covering white rags------do not forget the CLOROX BLEACH-------
     
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  7. kvetch
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    kvetch Devout UK Hindu-Jew

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    and top hats and extension fake curls for the wailing wall

    shall we secretly swap the clothes trunks so they get mixed up??

    pity no one else except the gallant roudy is pitching in here

    but we can go on havin fun, cant we???
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2012
  8. Roudy
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    Roudy Platinum Member

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    Maybe it's not such a bad idea. I always wanted to visit Mecca and pay my respects...by taking a dump on that shitpile Muslims circle jerk around in large masses of jackasses. .
     
  9. kvetch
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    kvetch Devout UK Hindu-Jew

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    so do rosie especially

    and I too
     
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  10. ForeverYoung436
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    ForeverYoung436 Gold Member

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    Throw in a visit to a Wiccan witches' coven, and a bigamous Mormon family, and I'm in.
     

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