- Sep 22, 2013
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This is a Thanksgiving-travel parable inspired by Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, and I posted it in the Garage instead of the Writing section of USMB, since it's meant as an 'American culture toast' to the holiday-season marked by travel/transit eccentricity and not really just a personal story or writing venture.
This is a female-version of the beloved John Hughes film.
Cheers (signing off),
====
A pair of American women, both fans of the American-values parody TV comedy-cartoon American Dad, were traveling home for Thanksgiving when their paths crossed. These two women, Margot and Lori, were taking a Southwest Airlines domestic American flight from San Diego to Washington for Thanksgiving 2018. Margot was a stewardess, and Lori was a TV-actress, and they were both stressed to make it home early for the holidays. Margot and Robbie were opposites in personality, but they shared a love of American Dad.
Margot worked for United Airlines as a regular stewardess. She loved Grateful Dead music, Jack Kerouac novels, Meryl Streep movies, and she wanted to get to D.C. for Thanksgiving to reunite with her younger brother Teddy. Margot felt a little anxious this Thanksgiving, so she didn't want the stress of uncomfortable travel and traffic to cloud her holiday-season. Margot was also a big fan of Stephen King horror-novels and adapted scary movies like John Carpenter's Christine.
The other American woman, Lori, was a TV-actress who was seen in various complementary roles in Hallmark Channel's various values-oriented holiday-season themed movies. Lori was a big fan of Agatha Christie crime-mystery novels, the Home Shopping Network, shopping-malls, and she wanted to get to D.C. to reunite with her husband and friends and relative for a huge Thanksgiving dinner-party. Lori was also stressed and wanted a smooth transit across America so she could reach home and celebrate the holiday-season. Lori wasn't looking to cross paths with a personality-contrasting woman like Margot.
The traffic to the San Diego airport that day when Margot and Lori tried to board the same flight to D.C. was murder. There must have been just miles and miles of lines of cars moving like snails. Even though Margot and Lori were both time-obedient and left early for their trek to the airport, the traffic bogged them both down, and they both reached the airport late, and it was just about 10 minutes before the Southwest Airlines flight to D.C. was taking off for the boarded passengers.
Well, the seating-attendant placed Margot next to Lori, as both women somehow managed to just board the flight in time. When Margot sat down next to Lori, she was perspiring (just like Lori), and both women were not too pleased to have to share space on that Southwest Airlines flight to D.C. that day. Margot asked Lori to please stop chewing her gum so loudly, and Lori turned to Margot and asked her if she had some perfume she didn't mind spraying on herself since her perspiration gave off an undesirable body-odor. As the plane took off finally (after a further 1 hour stalling-delay), terrorists seized control of the passenger-flight and detoured the plane to Chicago. None of the passengers were harmed, and the terrorists (as it turned out) were merely thieves transporting stolen money from a bank-robbery and performing a 'daring stunt' on their way to Mexico.
When Margot and Lori got off the plane in Chicago safely, Margot called her ex-boyfriend Stan who lived in that city to comfort her, and he went to the airport to do just that but was attracted to Lori who was standing near Lori. Lori started flirting with him too, and this enraged Margot. Stan helped the two ladies get their connecting flight to D.C. from the Southwest Airline company courtesy (because of the detouring terrorist-incident involving the hijacking robbers). When Margot and Lori boarded the connecting flight, the seating-attendant once again placed Margot right next to Lori, and when Margot sat down, Lori told her, "I wish it was Stan flying with me right now instead of you."
When Margot and Lori finally arrived in D.C., they decided to make amends and share a cab, but as luck would have it, their cab broke down, and two attractive mechanics arrived to fix the car. Margot and Robbie were standing by the car and making jokes about how these two 'roadside heroes' made for intriguing 'love-affairs' on their way home to Thanksgiving festivities. For once, Margot and Lori seemed to sincerely be getting along for the holidays.
When the mechanics failed to fix their cab, the two irate women were taken to the office of the cab-company by the tow-truck company from AAA which came to their service (Margot had a AAA card after all). Margot and Lori met the office-executive/representative who was very eccentric and told them about the serendipity of making it home on time for the holidays. "Traffic is a bitch this time of year, right?" he joked. He then sniffed some money-bills in hands and told them that if Margot and Lori bribed them, he'd arrange a ride to the shopping-mall and then to their final destination. Lori had the money and decided to pay the eccentric/corrupt office-representative.
When Margot and Lori arrived first at the mall their private-car took them to, they walked around and purchased some perfume and two nice sweaters. As they headed up the escalator toward the exit where their private-car driver was parked (in the lot), Margot noticed an eerie seemingly bloodied female spectre coming up the escalator behind them(!). She yelled and grabbed Lori's arm and said, "Run!" Lori turned back and saw the spectre/ghost too, and the two women ran out the mall and hopped into their private-car and ordered the driver to speed away.
Lori made it home first and would have a fine and grand Thanksgiving dinner, and all the while, she'd reminisce about her very strange travel-experience with Margot the stewardess. Her husband Bob amused that the travel-adventure fortified her character and made her 'extra-grateful' to be home for the holidays. Lori and her friends/family enjoyed a great turkey dinner and Lori reflected on the simple joys of American living.
Margot made it home to her brother's house next (Teddy). She discovered that her emotionally-troubled brother was languishing in his condo, addicted to cocaine(!). Margot helped Teddy get up and told him about her bizarre travel-adventure and stated she was determined to have a normal and inspiring Thanksgiving holiday. Teddy told Margot he'd do what he could do to help, and Margot was resolved to make this holiday-season sane...especially after her 'worldly' ordeals. However, Margot remembered Lori fondly.
THE END
====
This is a female-version of the beloved John Hughes film.
Cheers (signing off),
====
A pair of American women, both fans of the American-values parody TV comedy-cartoon American Dad, were traveling home for Thanksgiving when their paths crossed. These two women, Margot and Lori, were taking a Southwest Airlines domestic American flight from San Diego to Washington for Thanksgiving 2018. Margot was a stewardess, and Lori was a TV-actress, and they were both stressed to make it home early for the holidays. Margot and Robbie were opposites in personality, but they shared a love of American Dad.
Margot worked for United Airlines as a regular stewardess. She loved Grateful Dead music, Jack Kerouac novels, Meryl Streep movies, and she wanted to get to D.C. for Thanksgiving to reunite with her younger brother Teddy. Margot felt a little anxious this Thanksgiving, so she didn't want the stress of uncomfortable travel and traffic to cloud her holiday-season. Margot was also a big fan of Stephen King horror-novels and adapted scary movies like John Carpenter's Christine.
The other American woman, Lori, was a TV-actress who was seen in various complementary roles in Hallmark Channel's various values-oriented holiday-season themed movies. Lori was a big fan of Agatha Christie crime-mystery novels, the Home Shopping Network, shopping-malls, and she wanted to get to D.C. to reunite with her husband and friends and relative for a huge Thanksgiving dinner-party. Lori was also stressed and wanted a smooth transit across America so she could reach home and celebrate the holiday-season. Lori wasn't looking to cross paths with a personality-contrasting woman like Margot.
The traffic to the San Diego airport that day when Margot and Lori tried to board the same flight to D.C. was murder. There must have been just miles and miles of lines of cars moving like snails. Even though Margot and Lori were both time-obedient and left early for their trek to the airport, the traffic bogged them both down, and they both reached the airport late, and it was just about 10 minutes before the Southwest Airlines flight to D.C. was taking off for the boarded passengers.
Well, the seating-attendant placed Margot next to Lori, as both women somehow managed to just board the flight in time. When Margot sat down next to Lori, she was perspiring (just like Lori), and both women were not too pleased to have to share space on that Southwest Airlines flight to D.C. that day. Margot asked Lori to please stop chewing her gum so loudly, and Lori turned to Margot and asked her if she had some perfume she didn't mind spraying on herself since her perspiration gave off an undesirable body-odor. As the plane took off finally (after a further 1 hour stalling-delay), terrorists seized control of the passenger-flight and detoured the plane to Chicago. None of the passengers were harmed, and the terrorists (as it turned out) were merely thieves transporting stolen money from a bank-robbery and performing a 'daring stunt' on their way to Mexico.
When Margot and Lori got off the plane in Chicago safely, Margot called her ex-boyfriend Stan who lived in that city to comfort her, and he went to the airport to do just that but was attracted to Lori who was standing near Lori. Lori started flirting with him too, and this enraged Margot. Stan helped the two ladies get their connecting flight to D.C. from the Southwest Airline company courtesy (because of the detouring terrorist-incident involving the hijacking robbers). When Margot and Lori boarded the connecting flight, the seating-attendant once again placed Margot right next to Lori, and when Margot sat down, Lori told her, "I wish it was Stan flying with me right now instead of you."
When Margot and Lori finally arrived in D.C., they decided to make amends and share a cab, but as luck would have it, their cab broke down, and two attractive mechanics arrived to fix the car. Margot and Robbie were standing by the car and making jokes about how these two 'roadside heroes' made for intriguing 'love-affairs' on their way home to Thanksgiving festivities. For once, Margot and Lori seemed to sincerely be getting along for the holidays.
When the mechanics failed to fix their cab, the two irate women were taken to the office of the cab-company by the tow-truck company from AAA which came to their service (Margot had a AAA card after all). Margot and Lori met the office-executive/representative who was very eccentric and told them about the serendipity of making it home on time for the holidays. "Traffic is a bitch this time of year, right?" he joked. He then sniffed some money-bills in hands and told them that if Margot and Lori bribed them, he'd arrange a ride to the shopping-mall and then to their final destination. Lori had the money and decided to pay the eccentric/corrupt office-representative.
When Margot and Lori arrived first at the mall their private-car took them to, they walked around and purchased some perfume and two nice sweaters. As they headed up the escalator toward the exit where their private-car driver was parked (in the lot), Margot noticed an eerie seemingly bloodied female spectre coming up the escalator behind them(!). She yelled and grabbed Lori's arm and said, "Run!" Lori turned back and saw the spectre/ghost too, and the two women ran out the mall and hopped into their private-car and ordered the driver to speed away.
Lori made it home first and would have a fine and grand Thanksgiving dinner, and all the while, she'd reminisce about her very strange travel-experience with Margot the stewardess. Her husband Bob amused that the travel-adventure fortified her character and made her 'extra-grateful' to be home for the holidays. Lori and her friends/family enjoyed a great turkey dinner and Lori reflected on the simple joys of American living.
Margot made it home to her brother's house next (Teddy). She discovered that her emotionally-troubled brother was languishing in his condo, addicted to cocaine(!). Margot helped Teddy get up and told him about her bizarre travel-adventure and stated she was determined to have a normal and inspiring Thanksgiving holiday. Teddy told Margot he'd do what he could do to help, and Margot was resolved to make this holiday-season sane...especially after her 'worldly' ordeals. However, Margot remembered Lori fondly.
THE END
====
