A shitty night

[sitarro]

Wait........ is this Richard Heene and is your kids name Falcon and were you building a flying saucer like balloon in your yard.......... that would explain a lot.

 

[AllieBaba]

I learned a long time ago to avoid drinking in bars, except for the very occasional night out, alone, where I usually run into clients, then go home.

Drunk people do stupid things. Bars are full of drunk people, and if you're with a group that heads home together, you take the bar with you, essentially.

If she's your baby's mom and a good mom, stop going out to bars, especially with people who are emotionally fragile. It seems to catch.

And if you're a girl and you're going to hit someone, always hit the nose first as hard as you can, then the solar plexis, then run like hell, and grab either a golf club or frying pan. Or one of those great big plastic bats, they're fun to bonk people with and generall crack everyone up. Depending on the degree of the threat and your ability to get out of the vicinity.

 

[AllieBaba]

Also, some people can handle their liquor, and some can't. Your old lady probably can't, or perhaps you can't and turn into a raging asshole and she just isn't able to cope when she's had a few and her inhibitions are impaired. If you can't agree to avoid hot topics when you're drinking, you might consider for the sake of your kid to avoid it. I've given up hobbies for my kids, sometimes because I couldn't afford it, and sometimes because I was with their dad, who had to swear off drinking and to support him and to save the relationship, I did as well.

We all make sacrifices at some point. Figure out your priorities, and if she's willing to do the same, go for it. It won't kill you.

 

[brewerboy]

Also, some people can handle their liquor, and some can't. Your old lady probably can't, or perhaps you can't and turn into a raging asshole and she just isn't able to cope when she's had a few and her inhibitions are impaired. If you can't agree to avoid hot topics when you're drinking, you might consider for the sake of your kid to avoid it. I've given up hobbies for my kids, sometimes because I couldn't afford it, and sometimes because I was with their dad, who had to swear off drinking and to support him and to save the relationship, I did as well.

We all make sacrifices at some point. Figure out your priorities, and if she's willing to do the same, go for it. It won't kill you.

She stayed home so she didnt drink a thing.

Shes used to getting her way and I didnt lay down and say "Yes dear", thats pretty much what it comes down to. And I was hardly drunk. 8 drinks in 3 hours.

But you're right. It is best to avoid bars most of the time. I hadnt been out since August so I went out with my brother. No big deal, or so I thought.

 

[ncarolinadixie]

What it comes down to here is the one person that should be first and foremost in everyone's mind is being kind of forgotten in the haste to tell this guy what an asshole he is. First......if this woman will get angry enough to go after him she will at some point get angry enough to go after the child. The child is the victim here. Not him for getting popped in the nose and not her for having to spend a night or two in jail for doing the popping. If she'd done it to someone else she would be in the same place or possibly hurt very badly or dead. The point being...that kind of anger is dangerous. "Losing" it like that is dangerous. There is a small child to be considered. IMHO, until BOTH of you get some counselling and grow the fk up a bit more, that child needs to be somewhere safe. He, IMHO, is not safe around either of you!! YOU because you see nothing wrong with having 8 drinks and getting in a car and driving. Her because she is unstable enough to resort to physical violence over something so trivial. Get counselling NOW! It makes me cringe to think what could possibly happen in the future if you two continue as you are without it.

 

[brewerboy]

What it comes down to here is the one person that should be first and foremost in everyone's mind is being kind of forgotten in the haste to tell this guy what an asshole he is. First......if this woman will get angry enough to go after him she will at some point get angry enough to go after the child. The child is the victim here. Not him for getting popped in the nose and not her for having to spend a night or two in jail for doing the popping. If she'd done it to someone else she would be in the same place or possibly hurt very badly or dead. The point being...that kind of anger is dangerous. "Losing" it like that is dangerous. There is a small child to be considered. IMHO, until BOTH of you get some counselling and grow the fk up a bit more, that child needs to be somewhere safe. He, IMHO, is not safe around either of you!! YOU because you see nothing wrong with having 8 drinks and getting in a car and driving. Her because she is unstable enough to resort to physical violence over something so trivial. Get counselling NOW! It makes me cringe to think what could possibly happen in the future if you two continue as you are without it.

Um, where did I say anything about driving?

I didnt drive last night. Lol.

 

[AllieBaba]

My son and his significant other have an issue like this. She has trust issues. She always knows where she is, which doesn't bother him...he's either at home (in the basement apartment of my sister and brother in law, deacon & deaconesses of our Baptist church) with the baby while she's at work, or he's at her parents' home, with the baby, where the baby can play with her cousins and he hangs out with her family.

So far so good.

They don't go to bars. She doesn't drink much, she'll take a drink once in a while, but I've never seen the girl truly intoxicated, her idea of drinking is maybe a margarita or two, or one of those vile hard lemonade things. He drinks a little more, beer generally, but under controlled circumstances. They don't hit bars. They're both completely committed to family and their little girl, and he makes sure he is always accessible to her while she's at work..she can always get ahold of him. He doesn't take his baby over to his friends, he only takes her to visit family. He made a concerted and successful effort to wean his old wild crowd away from him (hence his terrible guilt over his best friend's suicide, he has to deal with guilt feelings that if he'd just been there...but of course he couldn't. Skyler lead an unhealthy and dangerous lifestyle, so despite the fact my son loved him, he quit hanging with him except occasionally meeting up with him for generally family events, or he would have Skyler over for an evening to watch tv, play games, drink a few drinks, and Skyler would spend the night).

Once or twice every 3 months or so, he'll arrange to go hang out with his friends (still not at bars) and have a boys night where they drink and listen to music...still completely accessible to Alma. It's arranged ahead of time, she is okay with it.

Until he comes home. Then she attacks him. Physically. The last time, she jumped him, scratched the shit out of his face and neck, and he shoved her off of him. This boy has never hit a girl, is highly tolerant of idiotic behavior even of other men, but he has a breaking point. Even at that breaking point, he would never hurt a weaker individual, but if you're a guy he'll wipe up the floor with you. Luckily, it seldom happens because he's careful who he hangs out with and just avoids volatile situations...which is why he essentially has quit hanging out with all of his old, pre-family friends (including the one who killed himself, the one who is in prison for murder, and his old buddy who spent 18 months in prison). He made a concerted effort, with his lady's help, to cultivate family-oriented friends with children approximately the same age, who provide them an outlet for healthy socializing (which has never included hitting bars)...and he's happy and proud of doing that. No conflict about the priorities, he's a hundred percent behind it.

But every now and then, he will get together with the few that are left of his old friends. Without the baby, for a limited period of time, in a safe place. They aren't cruising the streets looking for trouble, they aren't doing anything. Mostly they sit around at one or the other's house (never my son's) and drink a few, reminisce over old times, listen to music, then he comes home or has his girlfriend come pick him up.

Unfortunately, by that time, she's decided he's done something horrible, cannot be trusted, and is fuming by the time they get home. Like I said, she attacked him last time (and it isn't the first) and this time he shoved her to get her off her head. She packed up her shit and the baby and took his car (and he let her, because she had the baby and a job to get to) and threatened never to have anything to do with him again. She does this frequently.

He didn't do anything, other than probably just act drunk and manic when he came home. He's a happy drunk, unless someone starts in on him. Then he's just a sullen drunk. But I've never seen him in the least bit violent. He can be tiresome, if you aren't drunk, because he talks a lot and doesn't want to sleep (benadryl. I can usually convince him to take one and tuck him in because believe me, we all wear out long before he does).

The trust issue is hers, not his. He's working with her on it, but he's at his wits' end. I told her he needs to quit drinking at all, so at least that excuse (of hers) is removed. Then she would have to address the anger she has and deal with it.

Anyway, I get it. It is a two way street, and it takes a lot of effort on the part of both. If one isn't willing to look at her own issues, it's doomed, unless the other party just decides to tolerate it.

I'm holding out hope for my boy and his girl. She's a gem, she really is, a wonderful mom as well, a hard worker, smart and beautiful and so proud of him. But she just has these moments when she goes a little whacko. And his tolerance for it is diminishing. He won't marry her until they get it worked out...which of course adds to her trust issues and insecurity, but as he puts it, "Mom, we're always on edge...how is marriage going to make that BETTER? She'll see it as a victory and evidence that I really WAS doing something wrong, and will give her more ammo for her aresenal when she gets worked up..."

And he has a point. I told her just to talk to her...neither are great at in-depth discussion, though they're good conversationalists. It's just hard to straighten out stuff that is so ingrained, when you're young, and you think you're right, and you have an excuse for everything, and pride to boot.

Good luck Brewer. It's hard work.

 

[brewerboy]

My son and his significant other have an issue like this. She has trust issues. She always knows where she is, which doesn't bother him...he's either at home (in the basement apartment of my sister and brother in law, deacon & deaconesses of our Baptist church) with the baby while she's at work, or he's at her parents' home, with the baby, where the baby can play with her cousins and he hangs out with her family.

So far so good.

They don't go to bars. She doesn't drink much, she'll take a drink once in a while, but I've never seen the girl truly intoxicated, her idea of drinking is maybe a margarita or two, or one of those vile hard lemonade things. He drinks a little more, beer generally, but under controlled circumstances. They don't hit bars. They're both completely committed to family and their little girl, and he makes sure he is always accessible to her while she's at work..she can always get ahold of him. He doesn't take his baby over to his friends, he only takes her to visit family. He made a concerted and successful effort to wean his old wild crowd away from him (hence his terrible guilt over his best friend's suicide, he has to deal with guilt feelings that if he'd just been there...but of course he couldn't. Skyler lead an unhealthy and dangerous lifestyle, so despite the fact my son loved him, he quit hanging with him except occasionally meeting up with him for generally family events, or he would have Skyler over for an evening to watch tv, play games, drink a few drinks, and Skyler would spend the night).

Once or twice every 3 months or so, he'll arrange to go hang out with his friends (still not at bars) and have a boys night where they drink and listen to music...still completely accessible to Alma. It's arranged ahead of time, she is okay with it.

Until he comes home. Then she attacks him. Physically. The last time, she jumped him, scratched the shit out of his face and neck, and he shoved her off of him. This boy has never hit a girl, is highly tolerant of idiotic behavior even of other men, but he has a breaking point. Even at that breaking point, he would never hurt a weaker individual, but if you're a guy he'll wipe up the floor with you. Luckily, it seldom happens because he's careful who he hangs out with and just avoids volatile situations...which is why he essentially has quit hanging out with all of his old, pre-family friends (including the one who killed himself, the one who is in prison for murder, and his old buddy who spent 18 months in prison). He made a concerted effort, with his lady's help, to cultivate family-oriented friends with children approximately the same age, who provide them an outlet for healthy socializing (which has never included hitting bars)...and he's happy and proud of doing that. No conflict about the priorities, he's a hundred percent behind it.

But every now and then, he will get together with the few that are left of his old friends. Without the baby, for a limited period of time, in a safe place. They aren't cruising the streets looking for trouble, they aren't doing anything. Mostly they sit around at one or the other's house (never my son's) and drink a few, reminisce over old times, listen to music, then he comes home or has his girlfriend come pick him up.

Unfortunately, by that time, she's decided he's done something horrible, cannot be trusted, and is fuming by the time they get home. Like I said, she attacked him last time (and it isn't the first) and this time he shoved her to get her off her head. She packed up her shit and the baby and took his car (and he let her, because she had the baby and a job to get to) and threatened never to have anything to do with him again. She does this frequently.

He didn't do anything, other than probably just act drunk and manic when he came home. He's a happy drunk, unless someone starts in on him. Then he's just a sullen drunk. But I've never seen him in the least bit violent. He can be tiresome, if you aren't drunk, because he talks a lot and doesn't want to sleep (benadryl. I can usually convince him to take one and tuck him in because believe me, we all wear out long before he does).

The trust issue is hers, not his. He's working with her on it, but he's at his wits' end. I told her he needs to quit drinking at all, so at least that excuse (of hers) is removed. Then she would have to address the anger she has and deal with it.

Anyway, I get it. It is a two way street, and it takes a lot of effort on the part of both. If one isn't willing to look at her own issues, it's doomed, unless the other party just decides to tolerate it.

I'm holding out hope for my boy and his girl. She's a gem, she really is, a wonderful mom as well, a hard worker, smart and beautiful and so proud of him. But she just has these moments when she goes a little whacko. And his tolerance for it is diminishing. He won't marry her until they get it worked out...which of course adds to her trust issues and insecurity, but as he puts it, "Mom, we're always on edge...how is marriage going to make that BETTER? She'll see it as a victory and evidence that I really WAS doing something wrong, and will give her more ammo for her aresenal when she gets worked up..."

And he has a point. I told her just to talk to her...neither are great at in-depth discussion, though they're good conversationalists. It's just hard to straighten out stuff that is so ingrained, when you're young, and you think you're right, and you have an excuse for everything, and pride to boot.

Good luck Brewer. It's hard work.

I appreciate your post. This sums her and I up pretty well.

 

[brewerboy]

i hope the wee one wakes his ass up at the crack of dawn...and his hung over head...of course he will claim he is too tough for a hang over...and the first thing he sees is how he has really fucked up...i wonder who will take care of the kid while mom's in jail...how will he explain mom being in jail? i could just go on and on but i think we all get the picture of his well deserved shitty weekend ahead...

let me tell you something boy, if that was my daughter your ass would have been up hours ago cause i would have driven over and stomped you like the fucking mudhole you are....

just a mom's perspective...

Lol, you're a fucking douchebag.

Daddy will take care of the baby. No big deal

I can see that you think spousal abuse is ok. At least as long as the guy is getting hit.

Go fuck yourself

 

[brewerboy]

my concern if for the woman who mothered your child....are you married or not? who has to put up with your non working drunk ass....where did the cash for all this booze come from? perhaps there is a lot more to this story than you are telling.....so she was with the child all night while you were out partying at some bar? is that the picture i am getting....

Nice knee jerk reaction.

Seems like you have had something like this play out in your life. But let me answer your questions so you can see what a douche your being:

No married.

We're both laid off, so we have to deal with each other.

I took $20 out of my bank account

Yes, she was with the baby for a whole 3 hours while I was out. Would it make any difference if I told you that I did the same for her a month ago? Probably not eh

 

[brewerboy]

So I went out with my brother tonight. After getting out of a 10 year relationship, I thought maybe he could need a distraction. So we went to his friends house and watched the last part of a movie, and then went out to his favorite local bar. In the course of 3 hours I had 8 drinks....pretty mellow for me. I can swallow down at least 12 in that time...at least.

I get home, and the ladies bitching. About anything and everything.

Long story short....she threatens to call the Cops cause I told her how stupid she was being, the punches me in the nose.

Nose was bleeding all over the kitchen floor (a five foot five girl CAN hit hard) all over the living room carpet, all over the bathroom....

I hate to be a bitch, but after a few more slaps, I called the Cops.

After hearing our stories, she was hauled off to county...for the weekend.

I'm here with my son...though the Cops insisted that my mother come over since I had some drinks (hours before!).

He's finally asleep. I'm sitting here having what I feel to be a well deserved drink. Why am I feeling like the worlds biggest son of a bitch?

I've been to county a couple of times, longer than a weekend....and all I can think about is her sitting there in the "County Scrubs" in that cold ass jail cell. She wont get out until she sees the judge on Monday...and thats an "if".

I know at this point I have to think of my boy, and I am, but isnt that part of it? His mother? I cant help but feel that I robbed him of a weekend of being with his mom.

IDK, I feel horrible no matter how you cut the cake.

And say what you want...no matter what happens between her and I, she IS a GREAT mother. And I wont try to take that away from her.

But at the same time, I wont be bloodied by my spouse.

sounds like there are some alcohol issues..did your trips to county involve alcohol..you say she is a good mother..even though in this PC society its a crime did your drunk disrespectful ass maybe deserve a shot to the nose ?...just wondering

Sounds like you think your fucking Dr. Phil.

Alcohol issues because I went out once with my brother?

Lol, so having 8 drinks over a 3 hour period is drunk...and drunk automatically means disrespectful.

You're a fucking douche also.

 

[eots]

What it comes down to here is the one person that should be first and foremost in everyone's mind is being kind of forgotten in the haste to tell this guy what an asshole he is. First......if this woman will get angry enough to go after him she will at some point get angry enough to go after the child. The child is the victim here. Not him for getting popped in the nose and not her for having to spend a night or two in jail for doing the popping. If she'd done it to someone else she would be in the same place or possibly hurt very badly or dead. The point being...that kind of anger is dangerous. "Losing" it like that is dangerous. There is a small child to be considered. IMHO, until BOTH of you get some counselling and grow the fk up a bit more, that child needs to be somewhere safe. He, IMHO, is not safe around either of you!! YOU because you see nothing wrong with having 8 drinks and getting in a car and driving. Her because she is unstable enough to resort to physical violence over something so trivial. Get counselling NOW! It makes me cringe to think what could possibly happen in the future if you two continue as you are without it.

there is a big difference between popping some drunk ass guy telling you to stop bitching and calling you stupid and abusing a child..wow you people must live some sheltered lives
almost every girl I ever had smacked me at some point or another its called passion..but I sure wouldn't call the cops on them and certainly not my baby's mutha...there are a lot more effective ways of letting it be known you wont put up with it or it is wrong..just quietly leaving for a time being one of the best...having her put in jail is just another form of bitch slapping her back..an act of aggression




[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSftZPulzBc&feature=related]YouTube - SlapTube 3[/ame]

 

[eots]

So I went out with my brother tonight. After getting out of a 10 year relationship, I thought maybe he could need a distraction. So we went to his friends house and watched the last part of a movie, and then went out to his favorite local bar. In the course of 3 hours I had 8 drinks....pretty mellow for me. I can swallow down at least 12 in that time...at least.

I get home, and the ladies bitching. About anything and everything.

Long story short....she threatens to call the Cops cause I told her how stupid she was being, the punches me in the nose.

Nose was bleeding all over the kitchen floor (a five foot five girl CAN hit hard) all over the living room carpet, all over the bathroom....

I hate to be a bitch, but after a few more slaps, I called the Cops.

After hearing our stories, she was hauled off to county...for the weekend.

I'm here with my son...though the Cops insisted that my mother come over since I had some drinks (hours before!).

He's finally asleep. I'm sitting here having what I feel to be a well deserved drink. Why am I feeling like the worlds biggest son of a bitch?

I've been to county a couple of times, longer than a weekend....and all I can think about is her sitting there in the "County Scrubs" in that cold ass jail cell. She wont get out until she sees the judge on Monday...and thats an "if".

I know at this point I have to think of my boy, and I am, but isnt that part of it? His mother? I cant help but feel that I robbed him of a weekend of being with his mom.

IDK, I feel horrible no matter how you cut the cake.

And say what you want...no matter what happens between her and I, she IS a GREAT mother. And I wont try to take that away from her.

But at the same time, I wont be bloodied by my spouse.

sounds like there are some alcohol issues..did your trips to county involve alcohol..you say she is a good mother..even though in this PC society its a crime did your drunk disrespectful ass maybe deserve a shot to the nose ?...just wondering

Sounds like you think your fucking Dr. Phil.

Alcohol issues because I went out once with my brother?

Lol, so having 8 drinks over a 3 hour period is drunk...and drunk automatically means disrespectful.

You're a fucking douche also.

do you admit your life needs to change ? are youi truly proud of what you have done ?

 

[brewerboy]

sounds like there are some alcohol issues..did your trips to county involve alcohol..you say she is a good mother..even though in this PC society its a crime did your drunk disrespectful ass maybe deserve a shot to the nose ?...just wondering

Sounds like you think your fucking Dr. Phil.

Alcohol issues because I went out once with my brother?

Lol, so having 8 drinks over a 3 hour period is drunk...and drunk automatically means disrespectful.

You're a fucking douche also.

do you admit your life needs to change ? are youi truly proud of what you have done ?

Let me put it this way:

We've been to many a counseling session: during one of those I told her excatly what would happen if she hit me again.

I've been more than patient with her, trying to work things out.

Whether I went out or not, she would have hit me when I told her to quit acting stupid and getting worked up for nothing.

And I followed through with what I said I was going to do. Period.

Do I admit that my life needs to change? Ok Mr. AA spokesperson

Am I proud of what I had to do last night? Not excatly. But I would do it again.

Now your turn:

If she had come home drunk and I popped her, would your reaction be different? (TRY and be honest)

 

[brewerboy]

What it comes down to here is the one person that should be first and foremost in everyone's mind is being kind of forgotten in the haste to tell this guy what an asshole he is. First......if this woman will get angry enough to go after him she will at some point get angry enough to go after the child. The child is the victim here. Not him for getting popped in the nose and not her for having to spend a night or two in jail for doing the popping. If she'd done it to someone else she would be in the same place or possibly hurt very badly or dead. The point being...that kind of anger is dangerous. "Losing" it like that is dangerous. There is a small child to be considered. IMHO, until BOTH of you get some counselling and grow the fk up a bit more, that child needs to be somewhere safe. He, IMHO, is not safe around either of you!! YOU because you see nothing wrong with having 8 drinks and getting in a car and driving. Her because she is unstable enough to resort to physical violence over something so trivial. Get counselling NOW! It makes me cringe to think what could possibly happen in the future if you two continue as you are without it.

there is a big difference between popping some drunk ass guy telling you to stop bitching and calling you stupid and abusing a child..wow you people must live some sheltered lives
almost every girl I ever had smacked me at some point or another its called passion..but I sure wouldn't call the cops on them and certainly not my baby's mutha...there are a lot more effective ways of letting it be known you wont put up with it or it is wrong..just quietly leaving for a time being one of the best...having her put in jail is just another form of bitch slapping her back..an act of aggression




[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSftZPulzBc&feature=related]YouTube - SlapTube 3[/ame]

Abusing a child eh?

Fast and loose with the facts I see.

Nice spin.

 

[eots]

Sounds like you think your fucking Dr. Phil.

Alcohol issues because I went out once with my brother?

Lol, so having 8 drinks over a 3 hour period is drunk...and drunk automatically means disrespectful.

You're a fucking douche also.

do you admit your life needs to change ? are youi truly proud of what you have done ?

Let me put it this way:

We've been to many a counseling session: during one of those I told her excatly what would happen if she hit me again.

I've been more than patient with her, trying to work things out.

Whether I went out or not, she would have hit me when I told her to quit acting stupid and getting worked up for nothing.

And I followed through with what I said I was going to do. Period.

Do I admit that my life needs to change? Ok Mr. AA spokesperson

Am I proud of what I had to do last night? Not excatly. But I would do it again.

Now your turn:

If she had come home drunk and I popped her, would your reaction be different? (TRY and be honest)

of course here will make it simple for you boys have penises girls have vagina's they are not one in the same and unless the crazy bitch if trying to cave your head in with a blunt object or stick you with a knife you don't hit them even if they hit you and you don't call the cops and have her arrested ..you walk away..like a MAN..come back in the mormimg...or not at all

 

[BasicGreatGuy]

An assault occurred. That is illegal, unless one is defending his or her life. It doesn't matter if he came home drunk. Is this a dysfunctional relationship? It may be. Brewerboy did the right thing.

 

[eots]

ya he will see what good Friends the cops are when c.p.s shows up on Monday to investigate his dysfunctional relationship..good times..he will soon find out who his really enemy is...enjoy it now your victory may be short lived

 

[BasicGreatGuy]

ya he will see what good Friends the cops are when c.p.s shows up on Monday to investigate his dysfunctional relationship..good times..he will soon find out who his really enemy is...enjoy it now your victory may be short lived

You have some dysfunctional thinking if you think it is wrong to report someone who assaults you. A punch in the nose is assault. Spin it all you want. The girl was wrong to do what she did. It sounds like this wasn't the first time she had been abusive. Nobody should stay in an abusive relationship.

 

[eots]

ya he will see what good friends the cops are when c.p.s shows up on monday to investigate his dysfunctional relationship..good times..he will soon find out who his really enemy is...enjoy it now your victory may be short lived

you have some dysfunctional thinking if you think it is wrong to report someone who assaults you. A punch in the nose is assault. Spin it all you want. The girl was wrong to do what she did. It sounds like this wasn't the first time she had been abusive. Nobody should stay in an abusive relationship.

well then... Leave