A question for parents

Discussion in 'Religion and Ethics' started by -Cp, Jul 12, 2005.

  1. -Cp
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    -Cp Senior Member

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    As a Christian parent, do you support your teens dating or courting?

    To me, dating prepares them for the ideaology of divorce...
     
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  2. freeandfun1
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    freeandfun1 VIP Member

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    I think dating is something that is for older children (they will always be your child, even when they are 50!). Perhaps once they get to college. Sure, I can see taking a "date" to the Prom or Homecoming or some other school type dance, but I do not think that allowing kids to date on Friday nights, etc. is good. Mainly because, as you say, it fosters the ideaology of divorce but also because it leads to temptations that they are too young to understand, much less handle.

    My nephew lives with us and we don't allow him to "date". He can go to the movies with a group of friends and we do let him spend time with a girl he "likes" but only when an adult is present. The last thing he needs is to knock up some girl. He has too good of a life ahead of him and I do not want him to make the same mistakes I did in life. We are supposed to learn from our mistakes right? Well, I have learned and I will make sure he doesn't have the opportunity to repeat the ones I made!
     
  3. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    ...just as 'feeding' them would prepare them for the ideology of 'starving to death', right?

    :rolleyes:

    Dating isn't a problem...it's a tool to help people find a suitable mate. Our ideas of what constitutes a 'marriage' are probably more to blame for the ideology of divorce, than 'dating'.
     
  4. freeandfun1
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    freeandfun1 VIP Member

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    A 15, 16, 17 year old doesn't need to be thinking about finding a mate.
     
  5. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    Sure they do. Kids 'need' guidance on what they want/need. We train them to drive a car at 16 - 6 months for a lifetime of driving. I plan to help my kids about marriage, and what it means to be a 'spouse' to somebody, from an early age.
     
  6. freeandfun1
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    freeandfun1 VIP Member

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    WOW... are you discounting your role in setting the example as what to look for ? I don't think dating is healthy at a young age. It distracts them from what they need to be focused on - school, building friendships and learning responsibility. I guess it really depends on what one's definition is of dating. Again, in my opinion, 15, 16 and 17 year olds do NOT need to be worried about finding a mate. They might need to start thinking about what they would like in a mate or what interests them in a mate, but looking for a mate? Hell, most kids don't even start thinking about what college they want to go to until they are a senior. Why should they start worrying about whom they are going to marry at 16?
     
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  7. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    My 1st wife got engaged at 17, married at 18.

    (shrug). In the event they decide to run-off with their true love, and leave the suds in the bucket, so to speak, I hope I will have prepared them as much as I can.
     
  8. Said1
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    Said1 VIP Member

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    I don't understand what you mean by that.

    I think I would have picked an asshole regardless of the age I was when I met him (16).
     
  9. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    damn--that sorta messes up that crush you have on me :halo:
     
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  10. freeandfun1
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    freeandfun1 VIP Member

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    I guess I look at this through a different prism.

    I dated at 15. Got a girl pregnant at 16 and married at 16. True love is very rare at such an early age. Many get married or run off thinking they have found true love, but then later wonder what it is like to be with a different person, etc. All I am saying is why do we insist on making our kids grow up so young?

    I know lots of guys that got married in the Army at 18 but that is a bit different. They are living in the real world and whether they like it or not, once they join they are made into an adult if they are not already mature enough to be considere one. Sure, many still come outta basic pretty immature but if we really think what they were like when they first got there we will see how much they have grown.

    I just guess they have lots of time... why rush it?
     

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