A little political humor

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Jimmyeatworld, Mar 6, 2005.

  1. Jimmyeatworld
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    Jimmyeatworld Silver Member

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    Here's a good way to explain the differences between different beliefs using cows as an example.

    SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it
    to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage
    his.


    COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides
    you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive
    and sour.


    FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you
    the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage
    which ultimately blows up the cows.

    DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty
    for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows,
    forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people
    you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to
    your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

    REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

    CAPITALIST: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a
    herd of cows.

    BUREAUCRAT: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots
    one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down
    the drain.

    CORPORATE CEO: You have two cows. You sell one, lease
    it back to yourself and do an IPO on the second one. You force the two
    cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow
    drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts that you have
    reduced your expenses. Your stock goes up.
     

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