- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
- 85
This is a capitalism-conscious urban crime yarn inspired by Money Monster.
Signing off,
====
A pair of masked American urban vigilantes named Batman and Batgirl wanted to disseminate their message of 'sane danger' in a modern city otherwise overrun by 'insane crime. Batman was actually a socialite journalist named Adam Gant; Batgirl was actually an EPA executive named Anna Farris. Adam and Anna decided to become 'crime crusaders' and psychology prophets in Gotham City, because they believed America needed guidance regarding the proper use of mystique, power, and courage.
Batman and Batgirl were busy pursuing a trio of real ghouls known as the 'Strangers' who killed policemen in Gotham very brutally --- with knives, axes, and crossbows. The Strangers were the new Manson Family, comprised of a masked man named 'Sack-Head' and two female masked killer-accomplices named Doll-Face and Pretty-One. The Strangers had killed over 10 policemen in just one year, and Batman and Batgirl knew they had to apprehend the venomous trio before they became 'immortal.' Finally, Batman and Batgirl managed to corner and trap the Strangers in a warehouse and brought them in to Arkham Asylum (center for the criminally-insane) where they were asked to interview them for a psychology-profile.
BATMAN/BATGIRL: Do you believe you're evil?
STRANGERS: We're messengers of Hell.
BATMAN/BATGIRL: Are you here to 'cleanse' Gotham?
STRANGERS: Precisely...
BATMAN/BATGIRL: You've killed many cops.
STRANGERS: We use weapons of prophecy.
BATMAN/BATGIRL: Some consider you simply lunatics.
STRANGERS: Crime is never 'gorgeous.'
BATMAN/BATGIRL: Yet, you refuse to listen to the other side of consciousness.
STRANGERS: Darkness is the only reality!
BATMAN/BATGIRL: Is that true?
STRANGERS: We might be servants of Hell, but we feel liberated at times.
BATMAN/BATGIRL: You're in Arkham to appreciate the possibility of peace.
STRANGERS: No one can 'redeem' us.
BATMAN/BATGIRL: That's not true; we want to help you.
STRANGERS: What's so special about refraining from mayhem?
BATMAN/BATGIRL: Consider the magic of controlled anarchy (e.g., paintball, painting).
STRANGERS: Maybe the psychiatrists in Arkham will allow us to paint...
BATMAN/BATGIRL: That's what we want...to see you embrace possibilities.
STRANGERS: We've decapitated cops; we may be damned.
BATMAN/BATGIRL: Soldiers kill people too; we want you to meditate on morality.
STRANGERS: We want to make a statement on Catholic-TV.
BATMAN/BATGIRL: What do you want to say?
STRANGERS: "Wall Street makes sharks; we want more hygienic piracy; and prayer."
BATMAN/BATGIRL: We'll set that up for you; perhaps media can offer real windows.
====
Signing off,
====
A pair of masked American urban vigilantes named Batman and Batgirl wanted to disseminate their message of 'sane danger' in a modern city otherwise overrun by 'insane crime. Batman was actually a socialite journalist named Adam Gant; Batgirl was actually an EPA executive named Anna Farris. Adam and Anna decided to become 'crime crusaders' and psychology prophets in Gotham City, because they believed America needed guidance regarding the proper use of mystique, power, and courage.
Batman and Batgirl were busy pursuing a trio of real ghouls known as the 'Strangers' who killed policemen in Gotham very brutally --- with knives, axes, and crossbows. The Strangers were the new Manson Family, comprised of a masked man named 'Sack-Head' and two female masked killer-accomplices named Doll-Face and Pretty-One. The Strangers had killed over 10 policemen in just one year, and Batman and Batgirl knew they had to apprehend the venomous trio before they became 'immortal.' Finally, Batman and Batgirl managed to corner and trap the Strangers in a warehouse and brought them in to Arkham Asylum (center for the criminally-insane) where they were asked to interview them for a psychology-profile.
BATMAN/BATGIRL: Do you believe you're evil?
STRANGERS: We're messengers of Hell.
BATMAN/BATGIRL: Are you here to 'cleanse' Gotham?
STRANGERS: Precisely...
BATMAN/BATGIRL: You've killed many cops.
STRANGERS: We use weapons of prophecy.
BATMAN/BATGIRL: Some consider you simply lunatics.
STRANGERS: Crime is never 'gorgeous.'
BATMAN/BATGIRL: Yet, you refuse to listen to the other side of consciousness.
STRANGERS: Darkness is the only reality!
BATMAN/BATGIRL: Is that true?
STRANGERS: We might be servants of Hell, but we feel liberated at times.
BATMAN/BATGIRL: You're in Arkham to appreciate the possibility of peace.
STRANGERS: No one can 'redeem' us.
BATMAN/BATGIRL: That's not true; we want to help you.
STRANGERS: What's so special about refraining from mayhem?
BATMAN/BATGIRL: Consider the magic of controlled anarchy (e.g., paintball, painting).
STRANGERS: Maybe the psychiatrists in Arkham will allow us to paint...
BATMAN/BATGIRL: That's what we want...to see you embrace possibilities.
STRANGERS: We've decapitated cops; we may be damned.
BATMAN/BATGIRL: Soldiers kill people too; we want you to meditate on morality.
STRANGERS: We want to make a statement on Catholic-TV.
BATMAN/BATGIRL: What do you want to say?
STRANGERS: "Wall Street makes sharks; we want more hygienic piracy; and prayer."
BATMAN/BATGIRL: We'll set that up for you; perhaps media can offer real windows.
====
