Terry
Shut the $%$ Up!
- Jan 15, 2009
- 5,222
- 1,136
- 48
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture
in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a
cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and
YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly
how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully
grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it
to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area
in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it
to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany . Within seconds, he
receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and
the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC
connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few
minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have
exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your
business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S.Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though
nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment
trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a
thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that
matter. This is a herd of sheep. ...
Now give me back my dog.
in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a
cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and
YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly
how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully
grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it
to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area
in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it
to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany . Within seconds, he
receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and
the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC
connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few
minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have
exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your
business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S.Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though
nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment
trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a
thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that
matter. This is a herd of sheep. ...
Now give me back my dog.
