7 Ways You Can OWN Your Liberal Relatives At Thanksgiving This Year

Discussion in 'Political Satire' started by Weatherman2020, Nov 24, 2019.

  1. Weatherman2020
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    Weatherman2020 Diamond Member

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    Deck your libby snowflake uncles and aunts with a left hook to the face when they’re not expecting it.


    1. Dress the turkey in a MAGA hat. Carefully dress the turkey. But not just like the regular kind of dressing: dress it in a MAGA hat. This is the very best kind of dressing, and it has the added benefit of triggering your stupid liberal nephew.

    2. Cosplay as President Trump. Dust off your authentic President Trump cosplay outfit and get ready to watch your lib relatives LITERALLY DIE when you open the door to greet them. Classic!

    3. Invite Ben Shapiro to speak. Imagine this: just as everyone's sitting down to a nice family meal without controversy, you dim the lights. You ask everyone to welcome this year's guest speaker: Ben freakin' Shapiro! As Ben begins to rattle off FACTS and LOGIC, you can kick back and polish off your turkey as your lib relatives' heads literally explode.

    4. Say a touching, heartfelt prayer for the meal, and then carve the turkey with an AR-15. After a moment of unity in prayer, pull down the cermonial AR-15 hanging above your kitchen sink and carve that turkey with a full magazine of ammo. That poor bird will never know what hit it!

    5. Loudly sing “God Bless America” as you welcome them into your home. When you open the door and they say, "Happy Thanksgiving!" just blast 'em with the entire song in the original language: AMERICAN.

    6. Whenever one of your libtard relatives expresses an emotion, jump all up in their face and shout, “FACTS DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS!” If someone says, "Man, I'm feeling tired" or "Boy, do I feel full!" stop what you're doing, leap across the room and tackle them. Then, when they're in a daze on the ground, shout, "FACTS DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, SNOWFLAKE!" They'll probably ask for a safe space after that, are we right or are we right?

    7. Hand out gift bags with a free assault rifle, a Bible, and a Trumpy Bear. As everyone's leaving your home, pass out some memorable gift bags. Their new assault rifle, Bible, and Trumpy Bear memorabilia will either melt their faces off or turn them into a real American at long last.
    Well, looks like you got some preparation to do. Get out there and make Thanksgiving great again!


    7 Ways You Can OWN Your Liberal Relatives At Thanksgiving This Year
     
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  2. Billy_Bob
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    Billy_Bob Platinum Member

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    I am putting up my Christmas tree early this year and I have added about 20 MAGA red/white/blue bulbs and the Trump 2020 Keeping America Great bulb... Its going to be epic....
     
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  3. Billy_Bob
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    Billy_Bob Platinum Member

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  4. Pogo
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    Pogo Diamond Member

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    Dafuk is a "cosplay"? And who the fuck is Ben Shapiro?
     
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  5. BULLDOG
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    BULLDOG Diamond Member

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    Surprisingly, that is close to what happened 2 years ago. It's why there is a small get together at a restaurant for the crazy Trump supporters and the regular one for the rest of the family. The crazies are always welcome at the main get together, but they know they will have to leave when they start their crazy crap.
     
  6. JGalt
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    JGalt Platinum Member

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    Owning my own liberal would nice. I'd put him right out front, in the lawn.

    [​IMG]
     
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  7. Pogo
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    Pogo Diamond Member

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    Just show 'em this. That oughta generate a long pregnant pause at the least.
     
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  8. mamooth
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    mamooth Gold Member

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    We only have two conservative relatives. They've tried a few times to babble kooky talking points like the OP, but they were gently shown the error of their ways. Lacking the ability to get a rise out of the normal people, and feeling a bit put out that their talking points were so easily debunked, they've ceased such nonsense.

    Needless to say, we liberals never talk politics at Thanksgiving, at least not unless the conservatives bring it up. It's fine to humiliate the conservatives here, but you don't want to do it to family.
     
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  9. Pogo
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    Pogo Diamond Member

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    I have a Liberal right here in my pocket. Wanna see?

    [​IMG]
     
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  10. JGalt
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    JGalt Platinum Member

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    Don't lie. The only thing you have in your pockets are holes. Hell, if you didn't have those holes in your pockets, you wouldn't have anything to play with for Christmas.
     
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