13 Things I Hate About People

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Said1, Mar 26, 2004.

  1. Said1
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    Said1 VIP Member

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    Pardon the cussing :D


    Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:

    1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know
    where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

    2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire
    room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change
    the channel manually.

    3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

    4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
    is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

    5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking
    floor.

    6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me a
    choice there, did you sunshine?

    7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
    then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
    then there must have been something before it.

    8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longestdamn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?

    9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
    yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?

    10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

    11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No
    it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

    12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

    13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't
    insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a
    McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser.
     
  2. _dmp_
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    They want to HAVE cake...they also want to EAT it...but if they EAT said cake, they'll no longer HAVE it. They want the best of both worlds - HAVING cake...AND Eating Cake. :)



    Get it? :)
     
  3. Said1
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    Yep. However, I prefer donughts, especially sour cream :D
     
  4. Johnney
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    Johnney Senior Member

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    sour cream donuts?
     
  5. _dmp_
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    mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....donuts..................
     
  6. Johnney
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    Johnney Senior Member

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    and beer! cant forget the beer
     
  7. Said1
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    Sour cream glazed. They are like old fashioned donghnuts really, only better.

    No, I won't forget beer, never EVER. I like Mike's Hard Lemonade better, but my teeth get a little fuzzy after a few......dozen:D I usually wind up switching to beer later.
     
  8. Johnney
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    Johnney Senior Member

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    take it from a professional drunk, dont mix...lol
     
  9. Said1
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    I'll take that under advisement :D
    I'm usually ok until I go to bed. That's generally when the room starts spinning, and I start making deals involving me changing my ways :D
     
  10. Johnney
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    Johnney Senior Member

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    well that doesnt work for me...lol i stopped making deals along time ago :D
    now i jsut suffer
     

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