 | | 
10-09-2008, 02:48 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 5,697
Rep Power: 0 | | | Allie's faith in God gets put to the test
There came a big flood, and the water around Allie's house was rising steadily..
Allie was standing on the porch, watching water rising all around her, when a man in a boat came along and called to Allie, "Get in the boat and I'll get you out of here. Allie replied, "No thanks, God will save me."
Allie went into the house, and the water was starting to pour in. So, she went up to the second floor.
As she looked out, another man in a boat came along, and he called to Allie, "Get in the boat and I'll get you out of here."
Again, Allie replied, "No thanks. God will save me."
The water kept rising. So, Allie got out onto the roof.
A helicopter flew over, and the pilot called down to Allie, "I'll drop you a rope, grab onto it, and I'll get you out of here."
Again Allie replied, "No thanks. God will save me."
The water rose and rose, and soon nearly covered the whole house. Allie fell in, and drowned.
When she arrived in Heaven, she saw God, and asked Him, "Why didn't you save me from that terrible flood? Did I not show you my faith?"
With a loving but irritated tone God replied, "What more would you have me do? I sent people in two boats and a helicopter?"  |
Login to remove all ads
10-09-2008, 02:52 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 8,803
Rep Power: 65 | | | God helps those who help themselves.
I would never reject human assistance to wait for a miracle.
__________________
Poor Spot! He was tired of being thought of as stupid. "I'm gonna join Mensa," he said to myself, "and then I'll be legally permitted to wear the society's insignia--a tattoo of a little map pin pushed into my flesh--and then everyone'll know that I'm not dumb at all!"
Spot Joins Mensa
by James "Kibo" Parry |
10-09-2008, 02:52 PM
|  | . | | Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: God's Country
Posts: 2,926
Rep Power: 36 | | Quote:
Originally Posted by manifold  There came a big flood, and the water around Allie's house was rising steadily..
Allie was standing on the porch, watching water rising all around her, when a man in a boat came along and called to Allie, "Get in the boat and I'll get you out of here. Allie replied, "No thanks, God will save me."
Allie went into the house, and the water was starting to pour in. So, she went up to the second floor.
As she looked out, another man in a boat came along, and he called to Allie, "Get in the boat and I'll get you out of here."
Again, Allie replied, "No thanks. God will save me."
The water kept rising. So, Allie got out onto the roof.
A helicopter flew over, and the pilot called down to Allie, "I'll drop you a rope, grab onto it, and I'll get you out of here."
Again Allie replied, "No thanks. God will save me."
The water rose and rose, and soon nearly covered the whole house. Allie fell in, and drowned.
When she arrived in Heaven, she saw God, and asked Him, "Why didn't you save me from that terrible flood? Did I not show you my faith?"
With a loving but irritated tone God replied, "What more would you have me do? I sent people in two boats and a helicopter?" | i've seen this written in cuneiform. sumerians had it goin' on. 
__________________
"Now don't touch the knobs now, we're going to have some fun around here"-peter wolf |
10-09-2008, 02:54 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 8,803
Rep Power: 65 | | | Not only that...I live in the desert.
__________________
Poor Spot! He was tired of being thought of as stupid. "I'm gonna join Mensa," he said to myself, "and then I'll be legally permitted to wear the society's insignia--a tattoo of a little map pin pushed into my flesh--and then everyone'll know that I'm not dumb at all!"
Spot Joins Mensa
by James "Kibo" Parry |
10-09-2008, 03:08 PM
|  | pagan by choice | | Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: blue ridge mountains
Posts: 2,630
Rep Power: 21 | | | and where does one dig up these old jokes?
__________________ 
There is no greater sorrow
Than to be mindful of the happy time
In misery.
Dante |
10-09-2008, 03:09 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 5,697
Rep Power: 0 | | Quote:
Originally Posted by strollingbones and where does one dig up these old jokes? | It's called the internet. You're on it right now.  |
10-09-2008, 03:11 PM
|  | Thirsty? | | Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: FL
Posts: 3,200
Rep Power: 24 | | Quote:
Originally Posted by AllieBaba Not only that...I live in the desert. | Well if God hates you as much as those of us on USMB he might decide to flood the desert just for you Allie
__________________
We are the one's we've been waiting for!
YES WE CAN! |
10-09-2008, 03:13 PM
|  | Rank Stranger | | Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Tennessee
Posts: 352
Rep Power: 3 | | Why did I hear a tinny piano playing while I read that? 
__________________
WARNING: For topical use only. DO NOT take internally. |
10-09-2008, 03:14 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 8,803
Rep Power: 65 | | | What a sad, pathetic hater you are, Silence.
__________________
Poor Spot! He was tired of being thought of as stupid. "I'm gonna join Mensa," he said to myself, "and then I'll be legally permitted to wear the society's insignia--a tattoo of a little map pin pushed into my flesh--and then everyone'll know that I'm not dumb at all!"
Spot Joins Mensa
by James "Kibo" Parry
Last edited by AllieBaba; 10-09-2008 at 03:15 PM.
|
10-09-2008, 03:16 PM
| | Thirsty? | | Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: FL
Posts: 3,200
Rep Power: 24 | | Quote:
Originally Posted by AllieBaba What a sad, pathetic hater you are. | can you be called a hater when you only hate one person? 
__________________
We are the one's we've been waiting for!
YES WE CAN! |
10-09-2008, 03:18 PM
| | incompatible user | | Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 11,454
Rep Power: 204 | | | Allie might be a bigoted moron, but I like her.
__________________ Do test tube babies have navels? |
10-09-2008, 03:19 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 8,803
Rep Power: 65 | | | Tsk, tsk, Ravi. Who am I bigoted against, and what have I said that supports that idiotic comment?
__________________
Poor Spot! He was tired of being thought of as stupid. "I'm gonna join Mensa," he said to myself, "and then I'll be legally permitted to wear the society's insignia--a tattoo of a little map pin pushed into my flesh--and then everyone'll know that I'm not dumb at all!"
Spot Joins Mensa
by James "Kibo" Parry |
10-09-2008, 03:24 PM
| | incompatible user | | Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 11,454
Rep Power: 204 | |
__________________ Do test tube babies have navels? |
10-09-2008, 03:55 PM
| | pagan by choice | | Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: blue ridge mountains
Posts: 2,630
Rep Power: 21 | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Silence Well if God hates you as much as those of us on USMB he might decide to flood the desert just for you Allie |
i always like to speak for myself...i do not hate allie....she is what she is. To say that people on this board hate her is overstepping your bounds of being able to speak only for yourself.
__________________
There is no greater sorrow
Than to be mindful of the happy time
In misery.
Dante |
10-09-2008, 03:57 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 8,803
Rep Power: 65 | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Ravi | Er..those are just my most recent posts, dear. None of them prove bigotry.
__________________
Poor Spot! He was tired of being thought of as stupid. "I'm gonna join Mensa," he said to myself, "and then I'll be legally permitted to wear the society's insignia--a tattoo of a little map pin pushed into my flesh--and then everyone'll know that I'm not dumb at all!"
Spot Joins Mensa
by James "Kibo" Parry | | Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes |  Linear Mode | 
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off | | | | |
|
