| From the Diaries of Dogs & Cats
Currently playing the e-mail circuit:
As seen in a dog's diary:
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!
As seen in a cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope
of escape and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the
stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their
bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan...
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due
to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to
use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait...it is only a matter of time...
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"In war, there is no alternative but to apply every available means to bring it to a swift end. There is no substitute for victory. War's very object is victory, not prolonged indecision." General Douglas MacArthur
“Democratic civilization is the first in history to blame itself because another power is trying to destroy it.” Jean-Francois Revel | 
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